Mother F'r, went to make me a turkey sandwich and an entire untouched half of the turkey breast was cut off the remaining car us so asked the warden if she had already sliced it up for sandwiches....... No, I sent that home with the neighbors to make sandwiches with.
. WTF
Wait a Fuk'n minute we ate almost an entire half turkey for lunch then you sent them home with the other half breast
Well we have enough left for a sandwich each. Chit, did you send them each a bottle of wine and a half gallon of vodka too?
i got grief from the warden for buying a 21lb turkey(OK it was the free one from the supermarket - if you spent $400 in the previous 4 weeks). But i have leftover turkey for sandwiches, for soup for turkey salad. 3 people and 21 lbs of turkey, I like me my leftovers. she always gets the smallest turkey she can find. not his year! 
If I had bought a 21 pound turkey then the neighbors (her friends not so much mine) would have had 12 pounds to take home instead of 6 to go with the 1/2 chocolate and 1/2 pecan pie they took with them.
Sounds like you know where you have to go for new years eve! Drink all their good booze, then throw up in the potted palm. then bring the leftover caviar home.... 
Dahhhh Flip, it don't work that way.
They drink their two buck chuck wine and Taaka Vodka and MY good wine and booze!
Then why did the Mrs invite them? Oh wait, you are thinking of retiring on the Southeast coast, this problem will be over then(don't send them a christmas card with the new address, they sound like they could visit for a week or two of vacation! You have been fore warned!