"There once was an indecisive man stranded in the middle of Scotland. From where he stood, he could set off in any direction and find good Scotch: straight south to the light, fresh Lowlands; straight north to the fruity Highlands; up to the caramel-y region of Speyside in the northeast; or down to peaty, seaweed-y Islay off the southwest coast. Just before he could set off, though, a man behind him asked him to move his shopping cart. Because he was just standing there, blocking the aisle in the liquor store."