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Author Topic: 1/5/2017  (Read 26200 times)

LuvTooGolf

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #120 on: January 05, 2017, 10:06:41 AM »

good morning guys.
do you REALLY want to know about my whipped cream adventures?
golf was as predicted. SLOW. starter even let us out 20 minutes early. we played two holes and came to a sudden stop for over 15 minutes, skipped 3, 4, 5 to get ahead. came back around off the back to finish. I hate slow play.
had to stand the redhead up after dinner. realized I have District audit this afternoon and was crunching a years worth of expenses until 3am. I don't like crunching GOESINTOS.
Hate slow play. Morning, Dean.
on the 3rd hole, the couple in front of us spent about 15 minutes looking in a ditch for their shots. when they hit they duffed them back in again. ass holes.
Lol, that's almost as bad as waiting for the group to clear on a par-5, then duffing it 30 yards in front of yourself. Hate when that happens.
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #121 on: January 05, 2017, 10:06:43 AM »

Trying to get the boy packed up and ready to head out a day early for his trip south.  Don't think travel is going to be very good Friday night going into Saturday.
From WMBF News in Myrtle Beach

FIRST ALERT: Snow and sleet, black ice and dangerously cold wind chills forecast for the weekend  1-3" of snow possible
Good that it's happening over the weekend, no need for anybody to go out.
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South Carolina Redfish

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #122 on: January 05, 2017, 10:14:18 AM »

good morning guys.
do you REALLY want to know about my whipped cream adventures?
golf was as predicted. SLOW. starter even let us out 20 minutes early. we played two holes and came to a sudden stop for over 15 minutes, skipped 3, 4, 5 to get ahead. came back around off the back to finish. I hate slow play.
had to stand the redhead up after dinner. realized I have District audit this afternoon and was crunching a years worth of expenses until 3am. I don't like crunching GOESINTOS.
Hate slow play. Morning, Dean.
on the 3rd hole, the couple in front of us spent about 15 minutes looking in a ditch for their shots. when they hit they duffed them back in again. ass holes.
Lol, that's almost as bad as waiting for the group to clear on a par-5, then duffing it 30 yards in front of yourself. Hate when that happens.
Or a foursome with 2+ groups waiting at the tee box and they all want to putt out from less than 2 or 3 feet.
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LuvTooGolf

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #123 on: January 05, 2017, 10:15:31 AM »

good morning guys.
do you REALLY want to know about my whipped cream adventures?
golf was as predicted. SLOW. starter even let us out 20 minutes early. we played two holes and came to a sudden stop for over 15 minutes, skipped 3, 4, 5 to get ahead. came back around off the back to finish. I hate slow play.
had to stand the redhead up after dinner. realized I have District audit this afternoon and was crunching a years worth of expenses until 3am. I don't like crunching GOESINTOS.
Hate slow play. Morning, Dean.
on the 3rd hole, the couple in front of us spent about 15 minutes looking in a ditch for their shots. when they hit they duffed them back in again. ass holes.
Lol, that's almost as bad as waiting for the group to clear on a par-5, then duffing it 30 yards in front of yourself. Hate when that happens.
Or a foursome with 2+ groups waiting at the tee box and they all want to putt out from less than 2 or 3 feet.
Yeah, that's pretty fuggin' irritating, too.
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FloridaDean

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #124 on: January 05, 2017, 10:27:01 AM »

I always keep one handy with syrups and jams.
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FloridaDean

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #125 on: January 05, 2017, 10:28:57 AM »

good morning guys.
do you REALLY want to know about my whipped cream adventures?
golf was as predicted. SLOW. starter even let us out 20 minutes early. we played two holes and came to a sudden stop for over 15 minutes, skipped 3, 4, 5 to get ahead. came back around off the back to finish. I hate slow play.
had to stand the redhead up after dinner. realized I have District audit this afternoon and was crunching a years worth of expenses until 3am. I don't like crunching GOESINTOS.
Hate slow play. Morning, Dean.
on the 3rd hole, the couple in front of us spent about 15 minutes looking in a ditch for their shots. when they hit they duffed them back in again. ass holes.
Lol, that's almost as bad as waiting for the group to clear on a par-5, then duffing it 30 yards in front of yourself. Hate when that happens.
Or a foursome with 2+ groups waiting at the tee box and they all want to putt out from less than 2 or 3 feet.
and then take their time clearing the green discussing their play or walking to the wrong cart.
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sfish

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #126 on: January 05, 2017, 10:29:08 AM »

A guy goes golfing with his wife, early in the round she gets stung by a bee and is allergic so has to go to the doctor. The doc asks "where did you get stung?" She replies "between the first and second hole". Doc says "Oh my...that's a wide stance"
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LuvTooGolf

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #127 on: January 05, 2017, 10:35:14 AM »

A guy goes golfing with his wife, early in the round she gets stung by a bee and is allergic so has to go to the doctor. The doc asks "where did you get stung?" She replies "between the first and second hole". Doc says "Oh my...that's a wide stance"
LALTS
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sfish

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #128 on: January 05, 2017, 10:36:11 AM »

Montecristo Classics jamming!!
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #129 on: January 05, 2017, 10:39:38 AM »

I always keep one handy with syrups and jams.
Just don't mix that up with the Nair.
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FloridaDean

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #130 on: January 05, 2017, 10:40:00 AM »

A guy goes golfing with his wife, early in the round she gets stung by a bee and is allergic so has to go to the doctor. The doc asks "where did you get stung?" She replies "between the first and second hole". Doc says "Oh my...that's a wide stance"

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #131 on: January 05, 2017, 10:40:46 AM »

Montecristo Classics jamming!!
Do you care or are you just PWing to try to keep up with yesterday's pace?
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #132 on: January 05, 2017, 10:44:45 AM »

Jesus and Moses are playing golf in Heaven when they come to the par-three 17th hole, a long carry over water to an island green. Moses tees off with a 3-wood and hits the green. Jesus takes out his 5-iron and says, "I'm going to hit a 5-iron because Arnold Palmer would hit a 5-iron from here."

Jesus tees it up and hits a lofted iron shot that finishes 25 yards short of the green and in the water.

Jesus turns to Moses and says, "How about parting the water so I can play my ball where it lies?"

Moses says, "No way. You foolishly chose the wrong club because of your Arnold Palmer fantasy and I'm not going to be a party to it!"

Jesus shrugs and starts walking on the water to where his ball went in. Just then, a foursome approaching the tee box sees Jesus walking on the water.

One of them asks Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses turns and says, "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #133 on: January 05, 2017, 10:46:23 AM »

A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, "Of course."

To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. He doesn't hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Furthermore, the old man moves along without wasting any time.

When they reach the ninth fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green.

After several minutes pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started.

"Of course," says the old man, "when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall."
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LuvTooGolf

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Re: 1/5/2017
« Reply #134 on: January 05, 2017, 10:46:25 AM »

A guy goes golfing with his wife, early in the round she gets stung by a bee and is allergic so has to go to the doctor. The doc asks "where did you get stung?" She replies "between the first and second hole". Doc says "Oh my...that's a wide stance"

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Ha!
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