From Victoria, Texas - Best Obituary I have seen in quite a while!
A man named Howard Wayne Neal from the tiny town of Lolita near Victoria has one of the best obituaries of the year.
Neal, 74, died on Sept. 11 and the obituary placed in the Victoria Advocate last week evokes equal parts Ron Swanson and Charles Bukowski.
“Wayne Neal has exited his rickety old body, having lived twice as long as he expected and way longer then he deserved,” the obit states in the first paragraph. “He often wished in his later years that he had not treated his body like a Tavern.
“Wayne never met a man he didn't want to Indian leg wrestle, or play mercy with. Mainly because he was an ornery ole bastard,” it continues.
Neal was a contractor in life, “the best concrete contractor in all of Texas,” according to the obit. His wife Carolyn died before him (“mainly because she had enough of his shenanigans,” his obit says) and he survived by one son, plus another unnamed one. Wonder what the story is there.
“He had a passion for old cars, scotch, his construction company, scotch, travel, and oh yeah scotch. Did we mention scotch?” Neal’s obit declares.
Neal’s funeral service was on Sept. 17 at the Oaklawn Funeral Home Chapel in Edna.
One of Neal’s grandchildren is Christie Neal. The 35-year-old works for the family’s Lolita-based Mirage Industrial Group.
She remembers her grandfather for his eccentric ways and assures the Houston Chronicle that everything in the obit is true. It was written in part by one of his sons. She only wishes that it would have mentioned his fondness for arm wrestling at the bar.
“Everything in the obit is real. He was eccentric because he could be,” she says. After he retired he spent his time driving across the country taking in the sights.
For the record his favorite scotch was Chivas Regal.
