BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.
According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.
"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."
"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."
Is your source, The Onion?
Actually, No
That is the silliest thing I ever heard. What's next, no guns?
You are further behind the times than UpStateDave, Sheesh!
Walmart banned the sale of most ammunition a few of days ago, they already banned gun sales.
How about grapes and cherries? They could be a choking hazard.
How about PJ’s
Walmart Asks Customers To Stop Shopping In Sleepwear, Even In States Where It's Legal
BENTONVILLE, AR—The largest retail chain in the country is doing its part to curb one of the worst social epidemics of our generation. Walmart recently announced that it is asking its customers to refrain from visiting the stores dressed in pajamas, even in states where the practice is legal.
Walmart CEO Doug McMillon said it’s up to companies and business leaders to be the change they want to see happen in the world. “Somehow, our stores have created a culture where people think it's perfectly acceptable to go out in public in whatever they slept in,” McMillon said. “We're trying to change that.”
The controversial announcement is being applauded by supporters, but receiving pushback from shoppers who see no good reason to get dressed before leaving the house.
“What am I supposed to do, rent a tuxedo to buy a box of Pop-Tarts?” said Butch Trubinsky, a Walmart customer wearing an adult onesie and flip flops. “It’s Walmart for goodness’ sake.”
Walmart executives say any negative response to the announcement is proof that the change is necessary. They further explained that this is merely a suggestion by the company and not an enforceable policy, much like their directive that customers wear a shirt and shoes while shopping.