Three men die, a drunk, a taxi driver, and a politician go to heaven and are greeted by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter stops them.
St. Peter says, “Gentlemen. Welcome to heaven. Only those who are Catholic may enter through this gate. Today, in order to prove this, you must answer my question of a catholic observed tradition.”
The men all start to get nervous with sweat starting to appear on their brows with obvious fear of the consequences of not getting into to heaven. St. Peter calls up the first gentlemen.
“Sir, can you tell me – what is Christmas?”, he says, pointing down at the man.
He gulps, “Well… Christmas is a… happy time of year… Where the boys and girls go… Door to door! In costumes! Yeah, that’s it. Then they say ‘Trick or treat’ and get candy and chocolates. That’s Christmas, right?”
“Incorrect!”, St. Peter thunders and the clouds from under the man’s feet open up as he’s swallowed by a ball of flames and is sent to hell. The second man’s knees begin to knock.
“You, sir!” St. Peter says to the second man. “What… is… LENT!”
“Le..Le.. Lent?”, he stutters. “Ahh… Lent! Lent is a… happy time of year… When… boys and girls give each other… uh… love letters on lace and heart shaped candy boxes and ask ‘Will you be mine’”, he says batting his eyelashes.
The clouds from under the second man’s feet open up and HE is swallowed by a ball of flames and is sent to hell.
St. Peter by this time puts his hands to his face in obvious frustration, thinking to himself what a waste of time this is, then turns to the third gentleman and asks, “You there, is there any chance that you can tell me what Easter is?”
The third gentleman confidently tells him, “Yes! Yes I can! Easter is, at first, a sad time of year. It is when, on Good Friday, we mourn the death of our savior Jesus Christ.”
St. Peter perks up as the man continues.
“He is crucified and dies on the cross for our sins. They take his lifeless, blood covered body and wrap it cloth and prepare it with oils and perfume. They bury him in a tomb and roll a big rock in front of it”.
Yes, yes! Continue…”, St. Peter pleads, knowing that today he would have finally increased heaven’s population by one.
“Then”, the man continues, “Three days later, on Easter Sunday, the holiest of days, a miracle happens. He rises from the dead. And the big rock in front of the tomb rolls open. Jesus steps out… And if he sees his shadow we get six more weeks of winter!”