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In 1945, Americans received word of Japan's formal surrender that ended World War II. (Because of the time difference, it was September 2 in Tokyo Bay, where the ceremony to

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In 1951, the United States, Australia and New Zealand signed a mutual defense pact, the ANZUS treaty.

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In 1969, a coup in Libya brought Moammar Gadhafi to power.

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In 1976, U.S. Rep. Wayne L. Hays, D-Ohio, resigned in the wake of a scandal in which he admitted having an affair with "secretary" Elizabeth Ray.

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In 1983, 269 people were killed when a Korean Air Lines Boeing 747 was shot down by a Soviet jet fighter after the airliner entered Soviet airspace.

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In 1985, a U.S.-French expedition located the wreckage of the Titanic on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean roughly 400 miles off Newfoundland.

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In 1995, a ribbon-cutting ceremony was held for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland. (The hall opened to the public the next day.)

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Ten years ago: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin issued a "desperate SOS" as his city descended into anarchy amid the flooding left by Hurricane Katrina. Al-Qaida's number-two made the terror group's first direct claim of responsibility for the July 7 bombings in London in a videotape.

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Five years ago: President Barack Obama convened a new round of ambitious Mideast peace talks at the White House as he hosted Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in the first face-to-face negotiations in nearly two years. A man upset with the Discovery Channel's programming took two employees and a security officer hostage at the network's headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland; police shot and killed the gunman, James Jae Lee, and all three hostages escaped safely. Cammie King Conlon, 76, the former child actress who'd played the doomed Bonnie Blue Butler in "Gone with the Wind," died in Fort Bragg, California.

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One year ago: President Barack Obama, addressing a union crowd in Milwaukee, renewed his push for Congress to raise the minimum wage in a buoyant accounting of the economy's "revving" performance. The U.N.'s top human rights body overwhelmingly approved the Iraqi government's request for an investigation into alleged crimes against civilians committed by the Islamic State group in its rampage across northeastern Syria and parts of Iraq. Cole Hamels and three Philadelphia Phillies relievers combined to pitch a no-hitter, the fourth of the season, beating the Atlanta Braves 7-0.

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Today's Birthdays: Former Defense Secretary Melvin R. Laird is 93. Actor George Maharis is 87. Conductor Seiji Ozawa (SAY'-jee oh-ZAH'-wah) is 80. Attorney and law professor Alan Dershowitz is 77. Comedian-actress Lily Tomlin is 76. Actor Don Stroud is 72. Conductor Leonard Slatkin is 71. Singer Archie Bell is 71. Singer Barry Gibb is 69. Rock musician Greg Errico is 67. Talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw is 65. Singer Gloria Estefan is 58. Former White House Press Secretary Dee Dee Myers is 54. Jazz musician Boney James is 54. Singer-musician Grant Lee Phillips (Grant Lee Buffalo) is 52. Country singer-songwriter Charlie Robison is 51. Retired NBA All-Star Tim Hardaway is 49. Rap DJ Spigg Nice (Lost Boyz) is 45. Actor Ricardo Antonio Chavira is 44. Actor Maury Sterling is 44. Rock singer JD Fortune is 42. Actor Scott Speedman is 40. Country singer Angaleena Presley (Pistol Annies) is 39. Actor Boyd Holbrook is 34. Actress Zoe Lister-Jones is 33. Rock musician Joe Trohman is 31. Actress Aisling (ASH'-ling) Loftus is 25.

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Thought for Today: "There is little that can withstand a man who can conquer himself." - King Louis XIV (1638-1715).

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What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? A: Well hung. Q: what do you call two lesbians floating down a river A: Fur Traders Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons. Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: When u are eating pussy you can still see the asshole in front of you! Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? A: "I'll see you next month." Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A: She kept having affairs with men. Q: Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died? A: They found her face down in Ricki Lake. The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently HD was the wrong answer. Q: What do you call lesbian twins? A: Lick-a-likes. Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas? A: A new carpet to munch on. Q: Why is did the lesbian build a shelf? A: To hold her shoulders. Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience Q: Why don't fem lesbians go on dates? A: Because it's hard to eat Jenny Craig when you've got Mary Kay on your face. Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee? A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off. Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker? A: One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker. Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian? A: Gaylick Q: What do you call a lesbian who lives up north? A: A Klondyke. Q: What's the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians? A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar? Q: What do you call a lesbian's closet? A: A lick-her cabinet. Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian? A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke. Q: What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles? A: Militia Etheridge. Q: Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians? A: Dyquil!! Q: What do you call three lesbians in a closet? A: A Licker cabinet Q: What do lesbians call viagra? A: Batteries Q: What card game do lesbians play? A: Poke-her Q: What do you call a horny lesbian dinosaur? A: A clitosaurus Q: why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five? A: she wanted to preserve her palm. Q: What does a lesbian want for christmas more than anything else? A: a brand new carpet to munch on. Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians? A: Hairballs. Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers? A: They don't know how to handle wood. Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? A: Single! Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period? A: Finger Painting Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like? A: Depends Q: Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time? A: You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face! Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian? A: A bush hog Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian? A: A weedeater Q: What did one lesbian say to another? A: "Your face or mine?" Q: Do you know why oysters increase lesbian sexual libido? A: Because after eating a dozen oysters, pussy doesn't taste so bad! Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas? A: So they don't start a fire grinding. Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like? A: Tongue in cheek. Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? A: Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker! Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians? A: two can chew! Q: What is the definition of confusion? A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market. Q: How can you tell you're in a tough lesbian bar? A: Even the pool table has no balls. Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends? A: Someone has to mow the yard. Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles? A: Militia etheridge Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian? A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball! Q: What weighs 250 pounds and swims in the San Francisco Bay? A: Moby Dyke. Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A: a Lickalotapus Q: Did you hear about the new after-shave for Lesbians? A: It's called "OLD DYKE" Q: why do lesbians suck at cooking? A: they always eat out Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall? A: A crack in the ceiling. Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Both of them. Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian? A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker. A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?" The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/lesbiansjokes.html

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One Liners Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what's not ok? Wearing crocs. While having sex with women is fun, I primarily became a lesbian to break my mother's heart. Even though I saw my mortal enemy in a lesbian porn scene online, I can never mention it, for obvious reasons. Gay Or Not, if a girl walks past another girl with a fat A$$ she's going to turn around and look! Lesbian, Bi, Ugly, Fine, Rich, Poor, Skinny, Fat, Black, White, Purple, A FRIEND IS A FRIEND! Every girl has a little lesbian and stripper side inside her. If lesbians aren't attracted to men, then why are they attracted to girls who behave like men. If god hates lesbians why did he create them? A lesbian couple I know can't afford the double headed dildo they want. They're really struggling to make ends meet. I don't care if you're black, white, straight, gay, lesbian, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, alien - People are people. Respect them. Guys, it's not cute when you're an emotional pussy. If I wanted a pussy, I would be a lesbian. I think most guys turn gay when they go to jail and most girls turn bi/lesbian when they go to an all girls school Listen straight girl: I'm not going to be the guinea pig for your science experiment. Go makeout with a log Two Lesbians Two lesbians turn in for the night. One lesbian turns to the other and says. "I want to be frank with you." The other lesbian says "I thought it was my turn to be frank."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/lesbiansjokes.html

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Time to hit the road for work, enjoy your Tuesday guys.