Pharrell Williams
‘Happy’
Here is another song with a red flag warning right in the title. “Happy” celebrates being happy. There is no irony or complexity, “Clap along if you know what happiness is to you.”
Nothing can bring Pharrell Williams down. Tell him the planet is melting and the economy is in a downward spiral; he’s still happy.
Bruno Mars
‘Marry You’
Glee covered this song. Say no more. “Marry You” is a 2011 single by Bruno Mars from his debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. (An artist should be eternally exiled for publishing a title like that).
Apparently, many men have used it as a proposal song. Come on, guys, use some creativity and not an overused pop song!
Kim Kardashian
‘Jam (Turn It Up)’
Having been married to music icon Kanye, Kim Kardashian figured, why not give it a shot? Her solo single “Jam (Turn It Up)” is a heavily produced conglomeration of electronic beats and the artist’s vocals. It was a success, but the celeb was not that impressed.
“Thirty years from now, I can be like, ‘Yeah, I did it...” Some artists struggle just to make it. For Kardashian, trying out a solo career was like trying on a designer evening gown.
Buckwheat Boyz
‘It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time’
“It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” should be banned everywhere. It’s sheer cacophony. The song is dissonant, jarring, and harsh on the ears. In general, insipid songs like this have a melody that attracts us to them.
Not this one. It is like clanging trash can lids with someone screaming nonsense in the background. Sorry Buckwheat Boyz, maybe next time.
Daphne and Celeste
‘U.G.L.Y.’
When they first hit the radio, most pop songs at least get to be just that — popular. “U.G.L.Y.” might be one of the few exceptions. As soon as this tune came out there were people who wanted to stop hearing it as soon as possible.
It got mixed reviews, with some people calling it inappropriate and ridiculous as Daphne and Celeste snapped back at people who called them ugly. They were booed off the stage during a concert because of the song. Weirdly, it did quite well in New Zealand.
Holly Valance
‘Kiss Kiss’
Holly Valance was a big soap opera star, but she wanted to break into music. She didn't have a good start, releasing “Kiss Kiss,” a cover of a Turkish song, in 2002.
It became popular for the catchy tune, and the music video did well thanks to the focus on Valance's sterling physical attributes, but her singing chops just won't weren't up to snuff. After two more singles (which, along with this song, got pretty high on the charts though weren't much-loved overall) she went back to acting, and we're all thankful.
Las Ketchup
“The Ketchup Song (Aserejé)”
Las Ketchup wanted to do something for the world, and the something was “The Ketchup Song.” This was a gift, according to them, to the socially awkward.
You could do almost anything during the song, and it would fit the beat, which was almost the entire point — you didn't have to have much of a rhythm to enjoy the song. But constant radio play and the song's nonsense lyrics quickly got people sick of it. Still, it reached number one in at least twenty European countries.
The VengaBoys
“We Like to Party (The Vengabus)”
Dutch Eurodance group Vengaboys thought they had hit it big with their party anthem, but most people who heard it more than once outside their native Netherlands wished they had kept it on the bus.
It's fast-paced and energetic, with a bouncy synth track, but it's the kind of song that really burrows in and will never get out, no matter how much you want it to stop playing in your head. Some have even referred to it as the low point of pop.
Nikki Webster
“Strawberry Kisses”
Webster had all eyes on her when she appeared at the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics at the age of thirteen, performing in the opening ceremony. She quickly capitalized on the fame with “Strawberry Kisses” which, despite a fresh, bright sound, quickly proved to be an earworm that most people would have preferred not to hear.
Webster's singing was still good, but the musical nature of the song soured even as it climbed the Australian charts. Though certified platinum in Australia, the song never charted in the States.
Kylie Minogue
“I Should Be So Lucky”
It might be surprising to see the mighty Minogue on this list, but even our favorite soap opera actress-turned-singer isn't free from criticism. “I Should Be So Lucky” landed only a few days before the end of 1987, and despite shooting up the charts, the song had many listeners who said once was enough.
Despite this, it reached (or at least reached toward) number one in numerous countries outside of Australia, including the United States. It has even been added to Australia's Sounds of Australia registry.
Baauer
“Harlem Shake”
This song didn't become popular until a certain Youtube video used the song to make a meme. You're probably familiar with it. The meme helped drag the song into the limelight, but nobody was really there for the songwriting skills of DJ and producer Baauer.
Nevertheless, the song became a huge hit, going double platinum in the states. Unfortunately, most people can't bear to hear the opening lines because they're afraid something ridiculous is about to happen.
Bruno Mars
“The Lazy Song”
This lyrical anthem to laziness received mixed reviews as it started to get radio play, but most people could only say that until they got to the second verse. It featured a number of adult themes that, even compared to how pop songs have leaned in recent years, were too explicit and gross to want to think about.
It wasn't the best start to Mars's career, but he's been able to prove he has the chops. Comparisons were made to Jason Mraz, which is never good.
Florence & The Machine
“You've Got The Love”
That title is like what a computer would title a pop song. Pretty much as soon as “You've Got the Love” dropped their cover of this song in 2009, people were hearing it everywhere, from movie trailers to sports highlights.
The original song was a winner in the dance-pop charts, but Flo + the Machine moved it from dance to classic pop, with singer Florence Welch doing the heavy lifting. Overplay killed this song, as within a few months people were sick of hearing it everywhere they went.
Alvin & The Chipmunks
“I Like To Move It”
This one should come as no surprise. Anything that comes from the Chipmunks brand appeals to kids and kids only, with songwriting and musical choices that will drive everyone else up the wall.
Take a repetitive-if-catchy song and speed it up until it sounds like it's being sung by rodents, and you have a recipe for a song toddlers will love but parents will loathe. Nobody over the age of ten is interested in this tune, and for perfectly good reason.
Des'ree
“Life”
The years just prior to the turn of the millennium were a bit of a dark time for pop music lyrics. Take for instance the poetry of Des'ree's song “Life,” which includes lines like “I don't want to see a ghost / I'd rather have a piece of toast.” No, the lyrics aren't really the important part when it comes to pop songs, but they still matter.
Once the beat started to get dry, people turned to the lyrics and decided to stop listening to “Life.” Simply put, there were better options out there.
Maroon 5
“Moves Like Jagger”
Disco might not be as hated as it once was, but any song that uses that genre's elements has to be careful, and Maroon 5 is anything but careful. The band is the pinnacle of produced pop – plenty of their songs have reached the top of the charts only for people to get sick of the manufactured sound.
They disappear as fast as they arrive. “Moves Like Jagger” had the hearts and minds of the world for a little while, at least. And it gave Christina Aguilera a little bit of a comeback, too.
Scouting for Girls
“She's So Lovely”
Combining that song title with that band name makes a lot of people give pause. But that's beside the point – the catchy tune and popular idea of thinking a girl is pretty and wanting to get to know her captured hearts.
Tons of commercials and TV shows started using it. Tons. You couldn't flip through the channels without hearing snippets of it during its heyday, and we all know what happens when we have to hear a song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
Natasha Bedingfield
“These Words”
There are plenty of pop songs about the industry, from writing and recording to producing or just “being a pop star,” but “These Words” are one of the few to be about writer's block and the pressure to create another hit.
The singing mimics Alanis, but the writing tends to float around the industry a little too much, and while the song was catchy, it just became one pop song among others as time went on. There were just better options when it came to soulful singers of her kind.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Suck My Kiss”
With a title like that, you know you're getting something poetic. RHCP has produced plenty of well-deserving hits that stand the test of time (as long as you're into that kind of music), but this ode to...something...ended up a little too bizarre for the listening public at large.
It's been rated as the fifth-best Red Hot Chili Peppers song by fans, but it still had a hard time getting any chart success. The best it did was in New Zealand, where it reached third, and it didn't even make it onto the billboard hot 100.
Olly Murs
“Please Don't Let Me Go”
We may never know why Olly Murs's debut single was a reggae-inspired pop song. The British singer, who came second in the sixth series of “The X Factor” in 2009, had the chance to get big and this was what he did.
Still, the song was popular for a little while it was playing. It's pleasant, fun, inoffensive, and, due to those elements, somewhat forgettable. The mellow summer sound got it on the charts, but it didn't have any staying power. Most people nowadays don't even know the Olly Murs' name.
Nero
“Crush On You”
British dubstep trio Nero came up with this song. Dubstep had its time in the sun, but that time has passed – it's now seen as an artifact of bygone times.
“Crush On You” peaked at number 32 on the UK Singles Chart, and that was even when dubstep was at the height of its power. The bizarre music video of a quartet of girls haunting or stalking a single boy might have gotten people talking, but once the genre of music receded, this song went with it.
Flo Rida
“Right Round”
Despite being Flo Rida's second number-one single, “Right Round” didn't really do anything special. Featuring consummate guest star Ke$ha, the song collected a number of negative reviews, stating that it was misogynistic and, worse, kitschy.