Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.
- Carol Nelson
My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.
- Dave Barry
A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.
- Melanie White
I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names.
- Dan Zevin
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.
- Melanie White
The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.”
- John Leo
