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[CigarBanter]

Any cigar deals on the various internet sites that are worth talking about on this fine Monday? Join in this discussion and perhaps learn something along the way.  Warning: don't proceed if you have thin skin but don't be afraid to post either...  And welcome aboard!

[LSUFAN]

Good morning guys.

[LSUFAN]

4 Oliva Serie 'O' Toro (6.0"x50)
         10/39.99
 3 La Gloria Cubana Serie R Black No. 58 (Gordo) (6.7"x58)
          5/22.50
 2 Oliva Master Blends III Robusto
         10/39.99
 1 Don Pepin Garcia Blue
          5/22.50

[LSUFAN]

On this day in history ..
0295 - 8th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
0850 - Guntherus becomes bishop of Cologne
1139 - 2nd Lateran Council (10th ecumenical council) opens in Rome
1505 - Jews are expelled from Orange Burgandy by Philibert of Luxembourg
1551 - John Dudley becomes English Earl Marshal
1650 - VOC-management sets new guidelines
1653 - Cromwell routes English parliament to house
1657 - Battle in Santa Cruz Bay, Tenerife: English fleet under Robert Blake sinks Spanish silver fleet
1702 - Comet C/1702 H1 approaches within 0.0437 AUs of Earth
1715 - Nicholas Rowe's "Tragedy of Lady Jane Gray," premieres in London
1770 - Capt Cook arrives in New South Wales
1775 - British begin siege of Boston
1777 - New York adopts new constitution as an independent state
1792 - France declares war on Austria, Prussia & Sardinia
1799 - Friedrich von Schiller's "Wallensteins Tod," premieres in Weimar
1799 - Napoleon issues a decree calling for establishing Jerusalem for Jews
1809 - Napoleon I defeats Austria at Battle of Abensberg, Bavaria
1836 - Territory of Wisconsin created
1841 - 1st detective story (Poe's "Murders in Rue Morgue") published
1853 - Harriet Tubman starts Underground Railroad
1861 - Battle of Norfolk, VA
1861 - Colonel Robert E Lee resigns from Union army
1861 - Robert E Lee resigns from Union army
1865 - Chicago's Crosby Opera House opens
1871 - 3rd Enforcement Act (President can suspend writ of habeas corpus)
1872 - SF Bar Association organized
1879 - 1st mobile home (horse drawn) used in a journey from London & Cyprus
1884 - Pope Leo XIII encyclical "On Freemasonry"
1888 - 246 reported killed by hail in Moradabad, India
1894 - 136,000 mine workers strike in Ohio for pay increase
1896 - 1st public film showing in US John Philip Sousa's "El Capit n," premieres in NYC
1898 - US Assay Office in Deadwood, South Dakota opens

[LSUFAN]

1902 - Marie & Pierre Curie isolate radioactive element radium
1903 - 7th Boston Marathon won by John Lorden of Mass in 2:41:29.8
1903 - NY Highlanders play their 1st game, with Jack Chesbro losing 3-1 to Al Orth & Washington
1904 - George Bernard Shaw's "Candida," premieres in London
1904 - Louisiana Purchase Exposition opens in St Louis
1908 - 12th Boston Marathon won by Tom Morrissey of NY in 2:25:43.2
1910 - Cleve Indians Addie Joss 2nd no-hitter, beats Chicago, 1-0
1910 - Halley's Comet passes 29th recorded perihelion at 87.9 million km
1912 - Fenway Park officially opens, Red Sox beat NY Highlanders 7-6 in 11
1912 - Tiger Stadium in Detroit opens, Tigers beat Cleve Indians 6-5
1914 - 18th Boston Marathon won by James Duffy of Canada in 2:25:01.2
1914 - 33 killed by soldiers during mine strike in Ludlow, Colo
1916 - German-British sea battle off Belgian coast
1916 - Weeghman Park (Wrigley Field) in Chicago opens, Cubs beat Cin Reds 7-6
1917 - Pravda (Lenin names Russia "Free land of world")
1919 - Polish Army captures Vilno, Lithuania from Soviet Army
1920 - 7th modern Olympic games opens in Antwerp Belgium
1920 - Balfour Declaration recognized, makes Palestine a British Mandate
1920 - Big Show ends 2 year run on NBC radio
1920 - Tornadoes kill 219 in Alabama & Mississippi
1920 - Phillies mgr Gravvy Cravath puts himself in as pinch hitter, his 3- run homer beats NY Giants 3-0
1925 - 29th Boston Marathon won by Charles Mellor of Ill in 2:33:00.6
1926 - 1st check sent by radio facsimile transmission across Atlantic
1931 - 35th Boston Marathon won by Jim Henigan of Mass in 2:46:45.8
1931 - British House of Commons agrees for sports play on Sunday
1934 - Heinrich Himmler becomes inspector Prussian secret state police
1935 - "You're Hit Parade" begins broadcasting (becomes #1 quickly)
1936 - 40th Boston Marathon won by Ellison Brown of RI in 2:33:40.8
1936 - Jews repel an Arab attack in Petach Tikvah Palestine
1939 - New York World's Fair opens
1939 - Ted Williams' 1st hit (off of Yankee Red Ruffing) a double
1940 - 1st electron microscope demonstrated (RCA), Philadelphia, Pa
1941 - 100 German bombers attack Athens

[LSUFAN]

1941 - Dodgers start to wear liners in their caps
1942 - German occupiers forbids Dutch access to their beach
1942 - Heavy German assault on Malta
1943 - Braves manager Casey Stengel is struck by a taxi, fractures a leg
1944 - Dutch Communist Party-resistance fighter John Postma sentence to death
1944 - NFL legalizes coaching from bench
1945 - Cleveland Browns organization formed by Arthur "Mickey" McBride
1945 - German occupiers flood Beemster & Fencer
1945 - Soviet troops enter Berlin
1945 - US 7th army captured German city of Nuremberg
1945 - US forces conquer Motobu peninsula on Okinawa
1946 - 1st baseball broadcast in Chicago, Cards vs Cubs
1946 - 50th Boston Marathon won by Stylianos Kyriakides of Greece in 2:29:27
1947 - Frederik IX becomes king of Denmark
1948 - NYC hikes subway fare from 5› to 10›
1948 - Walter P Reuther UAW pres shot & wounded at his home in Detroit
1949 - Jockey Bill Shoemaker wins his 1st race, in Albany, California
1950 - Balt's Memorial Stadium opens - Orioles of International League
1951 - US performs atmospheric nuclear test at Enwetak
1951 - Velsen city council demands investigation of police collaborators
1953 - 57th Boston Marathon won by Keizo Yamada of Japan in 2:18:51
1954 - "Golden Apple" opens at Alvin Theater NYC for 125 performances
1955 - "Saint of Bleecker St" closes at Broadway Theater NYC after 92 perfs
1957 - 61st Boston Marathon won by John J Kelley of Conn in 2:20:05
1957 - Yankee Bill Skowron becomes 3rd player to hit a ball out of Fenway
1958 - Buses replace Key System trains at 3 AM
1958 - Louise Suggs wins LPGA Babe Didrikson-Zaharias Golf Open
1958 - Montreal Canadiens beat Boston Bruins 4 games to 2 for Stanley Cup
1958 - Morocco demands departure of Spanish troops
1959 - 63rd Boston Marathon won by Eino Oksanen of Finland in 2:22:42
1960 - "From A to Z" opens at Plymouth Theater NYC for 21 performances
1961 - American Harold Graham makes 1st rocket belt flight
1962 - NASA civilian pilot Neil A Armstrong takes X-15 to 63,250 m
1962 - New Orleans Citizens Co gives free 1-way ride to blacks to move North
1962 - OAS-leader ex-general Salan arrested in Algiers

[LSUFAN]

1963 - "Sophie" closes at Winter Garden Theater NYC after 8 performances
1963 - -30] All Africa Conferences of Churches opens in Kampala Uganda
1964 - 68th Boston Marathon won by Aurele Vandendriessche of Belg in 2:19:59
1964 - 86% of black students boycott Cleveland schools
1965 - People's Republic China offers North Vietnam military aid
1966 - WDCA TV channel 20 in Washington, DC (IND) begins broadcasting
1967 - French author R‚gis Debray caught in Bolivia
1967 - NY Met Tom Seaver's 1st victory, beats Cubs, 6-1
1967 - US Surveyor 3 lands on Moon
1967 - US planes bomb Haiphong for 1st time during Vietnam War
1967 - USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakh/Semipalitinsk USSR
1968 - Pierre Elliott Trudeau sworn-in as Canada's PM
1968 - S Afr Boeing 707 crashes at Windhoek, 122 killed
1969 - 23rd Tony Awards: Great White Hope & 1776 win
1969 - Kathy Whitworth wins LPGA Lady Carling Golf Open
1970 - 74th Boston Marathon won by Ron Hill of Great Britain in 2:10:30
1970 - Bruno Kreisky becomes 1st socialist chancellor of Austria
1970 - Ron Hill's 2:10:30 at Boston, sets new US marathon record
1971 - Barbra Streisand records "We've Only Just Begun"
1971 - US Supreme Court upholds use of busing to achieve racial desegregation
1972 - Apollo 16's Young & Duke land on Moon with Boeing Lunar Rover #2
1972 - Kallicharran scores his 2nd Test century in his 2nd Test Cricket
1973 - Canadian ANIK A2 becomes 1st commercial satellite in orbit
1974 - Paul McCartney releases "Band on the Run"
1975 - 29th Tony Awards: Equus & Wiz win
1975 - 4th Colgate Dinah Shore Golf Championship won by Sandra Palmer
1975 - Penguins 1-Isles 3-Quarterfinals-Penguins hold 3-1 lead
1976 - George Harrison sings lumberjack song with Monty Python
1977 - Supreme Court rules "Live Free or Die" may be covered on NH licenses
1977 - Woody Allen's film "Annie Hall" premieres
1978 - Korean Airlines flight 007 shot down by Soviets in Russian airspace
1980 - Cubans begin to arrive in US from Mariel boatlift

[LSUFAN]

1980 - Donna White wins LPGA Florida "Lady Citrus" Golf Tournament
1981 - 10th Boston Women's Marathon won by Allison Roe of NZ in 2:26:46
1981 - 85th Boston Marathon won by Toshihiko Seko of Japan in 2:09:26
1981 - Final performance of TV show "Soap" airs
1981 - Rocker Papa John Phillips arrested for drug possession
1982 - Atlanta Braves become 1st team to win 1st 12 games of the season
1983 - Pres Reagan signs a $165B bail out for Social Security
1983 - Rangers 2-Isles 7-Patrick Div Finals-Isles hold 3-2 lead
1983 - Soyuz T-8 launched; mission aborted when capsule fails to dock
1984 - Russian offensive in Panshirvallei Afghanistan
1985 - Carlos Lopes runs world record marathon (2:07:12)
1985 - Firestone World Bowling Tournament of Champions won by Mark Williams
1985 - Karyn Marshall of NYC lifted 303 lbs in a clean & jerk lift
1986 - "Jerry's Girls" closes at St James Theater NYC after 139 performances
1986 - Michael Johnson sets NBA playoff record with 63 points in a game
1986 - US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1986 - Vladimir Horowitz performs in his Russian homeland
1987 - 16th Boston Women's Marathon won by Rosa Mota of Portugal in 2:25:21
1987 - 91st Boston Marathon won by Toshihiko Seko of Japan in 2:11:50
1987 - Sri Lanka: Tamils shoot 122 Singalezen dead
1987 - US deports Karl Linnas, charged with nazi war crimes, to USSR
1988 - Balt Orioles set worst record to start a season 0-14 (will go 0-21)
1988 - NJ Devils 1st playoff hat trick-Eric Broten
1988 - US accuses Renamo of killing 100,000 Mozambiquians
1988 - Yanks HR 9,999 (D Winfield) 10,000 (C Washington) 10,001 (J Clarke)
1990 - Pete Rose pleads guilty to hiding $300,000 in income
1990 - 8 2/3 inning perfect game pitched by Brian Holman of Oakland A's is spoiled by a home run hit by Ken Philips
1991 - "Les Miserables," opens at Odense Teater, Odense
1991 - 1st non stop flight Schiphol-Flamingo airport Bonaire

[LSUFAN]

1991 - Mark Lenzi is 1st diver to score 100 pts on a dive (101.85)
1991 - Raghib "Rocket" Ismael signs with Toronto Argonauts for $26.2 million
1992 - 100th episode of "Murphy Brown" airs
1992 - 21st Boston Women's Marathon won by Olga Markova of Russia in 2:23:43
1992 - 96th Boston Marathon won by Ibrahim Hussein of Kenya in 2:08:14
1992 - All star concert in memory of Freddie Mercury held at Wembley Stadium
1992 - Expo '92 opens in Seville Spain
1992 - Joan Lunden, breaks her left shoulder after being thrown from a horse
1992 - Madonna signs $60-million deal with Time Warner
1993 - Uranus passes Neptune (once every 171 years)
1994 - Danny Harold Rolling, sentenced to death in Florida, for killing 5
1994 - Serbian army bombs hospital in Goradze Bosnia, 47 killed
1994 - Sohail & Inzamam make world record ODI partnership of 263
1994 - Space shuttle STS-59 (Endeavour 6), lands
1996 - Chicago Bulls win record 72 games in a season
1997 - "Gin Game," opens at Lyceum Theater NYC for 144 performances
1997 - "Present Laughter," closes at Walter Kerr Theater NYC
1997 - 1st baseball game in Hawaii, Cards beat Padres in doubleheader
1997 - 27th Easter Seal Telethon raises $47,392,682
1997 - 58th PGA Seniors Golf Championship: Hale Irwin
1997 - Cubs beat NY Mets ending NL worst opening, lost 14 straight games
1997 - Karrie Webb wins LPGA Susan G Komen International
1997 - Myrtle Beach LPGA Classic
1997 - Nick Price wins golf MCI Classic
1997 - PGA Seniors Championship
1997 - Mark McGwire, is 4th to HR on Detroit Tiger left field roof (others are Frank Howard, Harmon Killibrew, & Cecil Fielder)

[LSUFAN]

Famous birthdays for this day ..

1442 - Edward IV, King (England, 1461-83)
1494 - John Agricola, [Schneider], German theologist/prime minister
1592 - John Eliot, St Germans Cornwall, English MP/author
1594 - Matthaus Apelles von Lowenstern, composer
1705 - Balthasar Schmid, composer
1725 - Johann Friedrich Kloffler, composer
1726 - Jozef de Ferraris, French/Austrian earl/general/cartographer
1745 - Philippe Pinel, physician, founder of psychiatry
1748 - Georg Michael Telemann, composer
1748 - Guillaume Albert Teniers, composer
1761 - Johann Gottlieb Karl Spazier, composer
1808 - Louis-Napoleon (Napoleon III), emperor of France (1852-71)
1809 - John Smith Preston, Brig General (Confederate Army), died in 1881
1824 - Alfred Holt Colquitt, Brig General (Confederate Army), died in 1894
1826 - Dina M Craik, writer
1827 - John Gibbon, Major General (Union volunteers), died in 1896
1839 - Carol I, King of Romania (1881-1914)
1840 - Odilon Redon, French painter/author (La nuit, Rˆves)
1850 - Daniel Chester, French/American sculptor (Minute Man)
1857 - Charles LP "Philip" Zilcken, painter/author (HW Knife Day)
1857 - Hermann Bang, writer
1858 - Auguste Chapuis, composer
1860 - Charles Gordon Curtis, US attorney/inventor (Curtis Turbine)
1860 - Pieter Jelles Troelstra, Dutch MP (SDAP)
1865 - Max HHR Nettlau, Austrian historian (Le PremiŠre Internationale)
1866 - Victor Hollaender, composer
1870 - Simeon Roncal, composer
1871 - William Henry Davies, Wales, poet (Autobiography of a Super Tramp)
1876 - Gerard J Arbous, actor/publicist (Prince William of Orange)
1879 - Robert Lynd, Irish writer/critic (Pleasures of Ignorance)
1881 - Nikolai Miaskovsky, Novogeorievsk Poland, composer (Kirov is With Us)
1881 - Sem Dresden, composer/conductor
1889 - Adolph Hitler, Braunau Austria, dictator of Nazi Germany (1936-45)
1890 - Adolf Sch„rf, president Austria (1957-65)
1893 - Harold Lloyd, Burchard Neb, silent comic (Why Worry, Safety Last)
1893 - Hermann Ungar, writer
1893 - Juan Mir˘, Spain, painter/sculptor (Dog Barking at the Moon)
1894 - Martinus Nijhoff, poet/interpreter/linguistic (spelling)
1896 - Senor Wences, ventriloquist (Close the Door)
1897 - Bernard Verhoeven, poet/literature (About the Laugh)
1897 - Gregory Ratoff, Petrograd Russia, actor/director (Corsican Brothers)

[LSUFAN]

1900 - Fred Raymond, composer
1900 - Kees Verwey, painter/water colors painter/cartoonist
1901 - Michel Leiris, French cultural anthropologist
1902 - Donald Wolfit, England, actor (Lawrence of Arabia, Becket, Accursed)
1902 - Vesselin Stoyanov, composer
1903 - Dagmar Edqvist, Swedish author (Kamrathustru-Wife & Comrade)
1904 - Bruce Cabot, Carlsbad NM, actor (Diamonds are Forever, King Kong)
1907 - Alan Reed, actor/voice (Fred Allen Show, Fred Flintstone)
1907 - Miran Bux, cricketer (his one season of Test & 1st-class play 1954-55)
1907 - William Dollar, St Louis, ballet dancer/choreographer
1908 - Wilhelmus M Bekkers, bishop of Hertogenbosch
1909 - Guido Alberti, literary patron/businessman
1909 - Lionel Hampton, orch leader/vibraphone improviser (Depths Below)
1909 - Richard Stubbs, publicity adviser
1910 - Robert F Wagner, (Mayor-D-NYC, 1954-65) [or May 15]
1911 - Kukrit Pramoj, politician
1912 - David Townsend, cricketer (3 Tests Eng v WI 1935)
1912 - Ed Jones, (Rep-D-TN, 1969- )
1912 - Frederick Craig Riddle, violist
1912 - Soewarsil Djojopoespito, Indonesia, writer (Toe the Line)
1913 - Dick Wessel, WI, actor (Dick Tracy vs Cueball, Beware of Blondie)
1920 - John Paul Stevens, Illinois, 103rd Supreme Court Justice (1975- )
1921 - Donald Gunn MacRae, sociologist
1923 - Tito Puente, Puerto Rico, bandleader (Dance Mania)
1924 - Gerhard Samuel, composer
1924 - Nina Foch, Leiden Netherlands, actress (American in Paris)
1924 - Paul M Van Buren, US theologist (Theological Explorations)
1925 - Ernie Stautner, NFL tackle (Steelers)/WLAF head coach (Galaxy)
1925 - Richard Hoffmann, composer

[LSUFAN]

1926 - Harriett Elizabeth Byrd, politician (Wyoming house of Reps)
1927 - Karl Mller, Switzerland, superconductivity physicist (Nobel 1987)
1929 - Bob Braun, Ludlow Ky, singer (Dotty Mack Show)
1930 - Alan Oakman, cricketer (England batsman against Australia 1956)
1931 - Lee H Hamilton, Daytona Beach Fla, (Rep-D-Ind, 1965- )
1934 - Lindsay Oliver John Boynton, furniture historian
1936 - Pat Roberts, (Rep-R-KS, 1981- )
1938 - Bernard Malivoire, France, cox pair (Olympic-gold-1952)
1938 - Betty Cuthbert, Australia 100m/200m/400m dash (Olympic-gold-1956, 64)
1938 - Johnny Tillotson, Jacksonville Fla, singer (Gidget, Poetry in Motion)
1939 - Gro Harlem Brundtland, Norwegian premier (1981-82, 86-89, 90- )
1940 - George Takei, LA Calif, actor (Sulu-Star Trek, Green Berets)
1940 - James Gammon, Newman Ill, actor (Cool Hand Luke, Nick-Nash Bridges)
1940 - Jan Cremer, Dutch writer/sculptor (I, John Cremer)
1940 - Pilar Miro, director (Wether, Beltenebros)
1941 - Joni Evans, NYC, publisher (Simon & Schuster, Random House)
1941 - Ryan O'Neal, LA Calif, actor (Peyton Place, Paper Moon, Love Story)
1943 - Edie Sedgwick, Santa Barbara CA, actor (Ciao Manhattan)
1943 - Ian Watson, UK, sci-fi author (Book of Being, Whores of Babylon)
1943 - Michael Greer, Galesburg Ill, actor (Bobby Gentry Show)
1945 - Jimmy Winston, London, organist (Samll Facres-Itchycoo Park)
1947 - David Leland, Cambridge England, actor/director (Nothing But Trouble)
1948 - Craig Frost, keyboardist (Grand Funk Railroad-Some Kind of Wonderful)
1949 - Jessica Lange, Cloquet Minnesota, actress (King Kong, Tootsie)
1949 - Michal, rocker
1950 - Itumeleng J Mosala, S Afr president (Azanian People's Org)
1951 - Geraint Wyn Davies, Wales, actor (Bury Me in Niagara, High Hopes)
1951 - Luther Vandross, NYC, rock vocalist (On the Wings of Love)
1952 - Tamara Sergeyevna Zakharova, Russian cosmonaut
1952 - Toine van Benthem, dentist/playwright/cabaret performer (Purper)
1954 - Peter Toohey, cricketer (NSW & Australian batsman 1977-80)
1955 - Donald R Pettit, Silverton Oregon, PhD/astronaut
1957 - Graeme Fowler, cricketer (England left-handed opener early 80s)
1957 - Richenel, [Hubertus R Baars], singer/performer (Turn My Page)
1958 - Viacheslav Fetisov, Moscow, NHL defenseman (Team Russia, Detroit)
1959 - Clint Howard, Burbank Calif, actor (Gentle Ben)
1960 - Rodney Holman, NFL tight end (Detroit Lions)

[LSUFAN]

1961 - Don "Hitman" Mattingly, Indiana, 1st baseman (NY Yankees/MVP 1985)
1961 - Marci Bozarth, Lampasas TX, LPGA golfer (1994 Lady Keystone Open-37th)
1963 - Brett Edward Garsed, Victoria Australia, heavy metal artist (Nelson)
1963 - Kal Swan, heavy metal rocker
1964 - John Carney, NFL kicker (SD Chargers)
1964 - Paul Nobes, cricketer (prolific opening batsman for Victoria & SA)
1965 - Jim Terrell, Cin Oh, sprint canoe (Olympics-96)
1967 - J D Roth, Beverly Hills Calif, TV host (Fun House)
1967 - Lara Jill Miller, Allentown Pa, actress (Samantha-Gimme a Break)
1967 - Miroslav Stefanovic, soccer player (FC Volendam)
1967 - Townsend Saunders, White Sands NM, freestyle wrestler (Oly-sil-92, 96)
1968 - LeShundra Nathan, Birmingham Ala, heptathlete
1969 - John van Halst, soccer player (FC Twente)
1969 - Takayuki Kobori, hockey defenseman (Team Japan 1998)
1970 - Ben Weir, Rock Island Ill, Canadian Tour golfer (1993 Bogey Hills-2nd)
1970 - Shemar Moore, Oakland Cal, actor (Malcolm-Young & Restless)
1971 - Chris Penn, NFL wide receiver (KC Chiefs, Chicago Bears)
1971 - Grant Smith, Australian field hockey forward (Olympics-96)
1971 - John Senden, Brisbane QLD, Australasia golfer
1971 - Terry Smith, NFL wide receiver (Indianapolis Colts)
1971 - Yonel Jourdain, NFL running back/kick returner (Buffalo Bills)
1973 - Itula Mili, tight end (Seattle Seahawks)
1973 - Lamond Murray, NBA forward (LA Clippers)
1973 - Todd Hollandsworth, Dayton OH, outfielder (LA Dodgers)
1974 - Ben[jamin] Lincoln Holbrook, Hartland Wis, rower (Olympics-1996)
1974 - Kevin Sullivan, Brantford Ontario, 1.5k runner (Olympics-96)
1974 - Paul Bradford, cornerback (San Diego Chargers)
1975 - Joey Lawrence, Phila Pa, actor (Gimme a Break, Blossom, Summer Rental)
1976 - Lenka Nemeckova, Brno Czech, tennis star (1993 Futures-Maribor-SLO)
1977 - Lisa Ervin, figure skater (US Nationals-4th-1992)

[LSUFAN]

Dog Pet Peeves  About Humans
-------------------------


     1.  When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

     2.  Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

     3.  Yelling at me for barking...
     I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

     4.  How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over
everything while you're gone.
     (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

     5.  Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
     Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

     6.  Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

     7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
     Why'd you buy carpet?

     8.  Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
     Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

     9.  How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
     Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

     10.  Dog sweaters.
     Have you noticed the fur?  Imbecile.

     11.  Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
     Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.

     12.  When you pick up the crap piles in the yard.
     Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

     13.  Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised
when I freak out everytime we go back.

     14.  The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
     You fooled a dog!  What a proud moment for the top of the food chain,
you nitwit.

     15.  Invisible fences.
     Why do you insist on screwing with us?  To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't
yet solved the visible fence problem!!

[LSUFAN]

Time to hit the road for work guys, enjoy your day.