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[A Friend of Charlie]

Good morning Tony, Dave, and Dave.
It's golf day!

Hola Dean. Also a good day to stock up on some Fighting Cocks. If you're so inclined.

I'm pretty well stocked on smokes, and pretty well tapped out, don't want to start dipping in my savings.

No pressure. Just thought you might need a couple of extra sticks in case you drop them in the hot tub.

[A Friend of Charlie]

Today’s Birthdays: Former U.S. Rep John Conyers, D-Mich., is 89. Former U.S. Senator and Connecticut Governor Lowell Weicker is 87. Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats is 75. Jazz musician Billy Cobham is 74. Actor Danny Trejo is 74. Actor Bill Smitrovich is 71. Actor Pierce Brosnan is 65. Actress Debra Winger is 63. Olympic gold medal gymnast Olga Korbut is 63. Olympic gold medal marathon runner Joan Benoit Samuelson is 61. Actress Mare Winningham is 59. Rock musician Boyd Tinsley (The Dave Matthews Band) is 54. Rock musician Krist Novoselic (noh-voh-SEL’-ik) is 53. Singer Janet Jackson is 52 . Country singer Scott Reeves (Blue County) is 52. Actor Brian (BREE’-un) F. O’Byrne is 51. Rhythm-and-blues singer Ralph Tresvant (New Edition) is 50. Actor David Boreanaz is 49. Political correspondent Tucker Carlson is 49. Actress Tracey Gold is 49. International Tennis Hall of Famer Gabriela Sabatini is 48. Country singer Rick Trevino is 47. Musician Simon Katz is 47. TV personality Bill Rancic is 47. Actress Tori Spelling is 45. Actor Sean Carrigan is 44. Singer-rapper B. Slade (formerly known as Tonex) is 43. Actress Lynn Collins is 41. Actress Melanie Lynskey is 41. Actor Jim Sturgess is 40. Actor Joseph Morgan is 37. DJ Alex Pall (The Chainsmokers) is 33. Actress Megan Fox is 32. Actor Drew Roy is 32. Actor Jacob Zachar is 32. Actor-comedian Jermaine Fowler is 30. Actor Thomas Brodie-Sangster is 28. Actor Marc John Jefferies is 28. Olympic bronze medal figure skater Ashley Wagner is 27. Actor Miles Heizer is 24.

Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

[FloridaDean]

Good morning Tony, Dave, and Dave.
It's golf day!

Hola Dean. Also a good day to stock up on some Fighting Cocks. If you're so inclined.

I'm pretty well stocked on smokes, and pretty well tapped out, don't want to start dipping in my savings.

No pressure. Just thought you might need a couple of extra sticks in case you drop them in the hot tub.

LOL

[Travellin Dave]

Good morning Tony, Dave, and Dave.
It's golf day!

Hola Dean. Also a good day to stock up on some Fighting Cocks. If you're so inclined.

I'm pretty well stocked on smokes, and pretty well tapped out, don't want to start dipping in my savings.

Got to save for that protein skimmer for the hot tub.

[LuvTooGolf]

Good morning Tony, Dave, and Dave.
It's golf day!

Hola Dean. Also a good day to stock up on some Fighting Cocks. If you're so inclined.

I'm pretty well stocked on smokes, and pretty well tapped out, don't want to start dipping in my savings.

Got to save for that protein skimmer for the hot tub.

[A Friend of Charlie]

Good morning Tony, Dave, and Dave.
It's golf day!

Hola Dean. Also a good day to stock up on some Fighting Cocks. If you're so inclined.

I'm pretty well stocked on smokes, and pretty well tapped out, don't want to start dipping in my savings.

Got to save for that protein skimmer for the hot tub.

Eeewwwww.

[FloridaDean]

sick, really sick.

[Travellin Dave]

sick, really sick.

Thanks, I try.

[Travellin Dave]

Here's one I found on sale!

https://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?c=3578+4392+36152&pcatid=36152

[FloridaDean]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

[FloridaDean]

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."

[FloridaDean]

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"

[FloridaDean]

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

[FloridaDean]

1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.

4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.

6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

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7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.

10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.

11. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

12. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

16. What’s the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.

18. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
The man.

19. Why do vegetarians give good head?
Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

20. What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.

21. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

22. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

23. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

24. Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

25. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

26. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!

27. What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

28. What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

29. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

30. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!

31. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.

32. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

33. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.

34. Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.

35. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!

36. What do you call a guy with a giant dick?
Phil!

37. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.

38. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.

39. Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.

40. How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

41. What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

42. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.

43. What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.

44. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.

45. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

46. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

47. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

48. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

49. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

50. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

[FloridaDean]

that should keep you guys busy while I'm golfing.

later.