My wife bought me a Drug Store pipe, along with a pouch of Drug Store pipe tobacco.
You're a lot happier than I would be in that scenario.
The pipe turned out the be a Missouri Meerschaum Corncob ($1.82), which is actually a pretty good pipe if you like corncob, and an 8 ounce pack of Admiral's Choice Cherry Cavendish Virginia Tobacco ($5.45), which is also rated pretty high if you like aromatic tobacco. Actually, it's pretty good if I can learn to keep the pipe lit...!