CigarBanter
Cigar Banter => Daily Cigar Deals Discussion => Topic started by: CigarBanter on August 21, 2018, 12:02:57 AM
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It's Tuesday again! In between insults we'll occasionally discuss cigars. Join in and perhaps learn something along the way. Warning: don't proceed if you have thin skin but don't be afraid to post either... And welcome aboard!
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August 21, 2018 – NATIONAL SENIOR CITIZENS DAY
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Healthline Website Says the Term ‘Vagina’ Is No Longer Gender Inclusive – Will Start Using “Front Hole” Instead
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good morning Dave.
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getting ready to take neighbor to work then it's off to Ocala for my injections at 8am.
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August 21, 2018 – NATIONAL SENIOR CITIZENS DAY
woohoo, I belong in that group now.
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Tuesday August 21st 2018
by The Thought Collectors Wife.
“Star Trek was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but take a special delight in differences in ideas and differences in life forms.” ~ Gene Roddenberry
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Healthline Website Says the Term ‘Vagina’ Is No Longer Gender Inclusive – Will Start Using “Front Hole” Instead
soooooo, there's a front and rear vagina now?
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Tuesday August 21st 2018
by The Thought Collectors Wife.
“Star Trek was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but take a special delight in differences in ideas and differences in life forms.” ~ Gene Roddenberry
Sooooo, not quite today then?
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Healthline Website Says the Term ‘Vagina’ Is No Longer Gender Inclusive – Will Start Using “Front Hole” Instead
soooooo, there's a front and rear vagina now?
At your age, it's too late to learn. :D
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
Yeah, and thanks for that, by the way.
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
Yeah, and thanks for that, by the way.
at least they can't blame Trump on that.
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
Yeah, and thanks for that, by the way.
at least they can't blame Trump on that.
Must be the Russians then.
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Good morning seniors, SCDave and Dean. Good morning, LTG.
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
Yeah, and thanks for that, by the way.
at least they can't blame Trump on that.
Nah, there's lots more fresh ridiculousness and embarrassment we can lay at his feet.
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good morning Dave.
I'm glad I grew up when I did. this world got fucked up.
Yeah, and thanks for that, by the way.
at least they can't blame Trump on that.
Must be the Russians then.
#fakenews WOW
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
How goes it, Sam?
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
Was he irregular before?
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
Was he irregular before?
As far as I'm concerned, that's between him and his toilet.
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
Was he irregular before?
Have been, but moving right along at present. ::)
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
Was he irregular before?
As far as I'm concerned, that's between him and his toilet.
Well done on a couple of different levels!
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Good morning Dave, Dean, Tony & Dave.
Howdy, Sam. Back to being a regular now? ;)
Was he irregular before?
As far as I'm concerned, that's between him and his toilet.
We hope.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
I'm glad your first thought was us. :D
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
Good morning, Bret.
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Heading out to lunch and then catching a movie with the fam. Hazzuh, y'all.
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Heading out to lunch and then catching a movie with the fam. Hazzuh, y'all.
WOW! good for you! have a great afternoon!
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
Hi Raz
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
I'm glad your first thought was us. :D
Never far from my heart...
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I need to be careful here, i just may go over 4k this year.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
you told us yesterday, it was a non-work day for you and the rest of the UN.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
Gesundheit.
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
It's too late, your performance ladder is missing a rung now.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
Gesundheit.
Waiting for the Mrs. Go figure.
Interestingly enough, today's holiday commemorates the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God’s command.
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
Gesundheit.
Waiting for the Mrs. Go figure.
Interestingly enough, today's holiday commemorates the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God’s command.
That is interesting. I wonder if the Jews have a holiday for it as well. I guess you would know as that would be another day off at the UN.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
Careful with that sort of talk these days.
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Heading out to lunch and then catching a movie with the fam. Hazzuh, y'all.
You're living the dream today. Eventually.
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
Gesundheit.
Waiting for the Mrs. Go figure.
Interestingly enough, today's holiday commemorates the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God’s command.
That is interesting. I wonder if the Jews have a holiday for it as well. I guess you would know as that would be another day off at the UN.
Hmm, near as I can tell it's part of Rosh Hashanah. I'm not seeing that one as an official UN holiday. How strange...
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Adult diaper accident lull?
People won't leave me alone lull...i have around 12 files open on the desktop and am having difficulty deciding who to disappoint.
Did I mention I was off from work today? Happy Eid-al-adha!
https://www.infoplease.com/holidays-america
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JANUARY 2018
1
Mary, Mother of God - Catholic Christian
Feast Day of St Basil - Orthodox Christian
Gantan-sai (New Years) - Shinto
Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus - Orthodox Christian
2-4
Mahayana New Year - Buddhist
5
Twelfth Night - Christian
Guru Gobindh Singh birthday - Sikh
6
Epiphany - Christian
Feast of the Epiphany (Theophany) - Orthodox Christian
Dia de los Reyes (Three Kings Day) - Christian
Nativity of Christ - Armenian Orthodox
7
Feast of the Nativity ** - Orthodox Christian
Baptism of the Lord Jesus - Christian
8
Feast of the Holy Family - Catholic Christian
13
Maghi - Sikh
17
Blessing of the Animals - Hispanic Catholic Christian
18-25
Week of Prayer for Christian Unity - Christian
19
Timkat - Ethiopian Orthodox Christian
21
World Religion Day - Baha'i
Triodion begins - Orthodox Christian
22
Vasant Panchami ** - Hindu
25
Conversion of St. Paul - Christian
31
Tu BiShvat * - Jewish
Definitions
FEBRUARY 2018
2
Candlemas - Presentation of Christ in the Temple - Christian
Imbolc - Lughnassad * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
Saint Brighid of Kildare - Celtic Christian
3
St. Blaze Day - Christian
Setsebun Sai - Shinto
4
Four Chaplains Sunday - Interfaith
8
Nirvana Day - Buddhism
11
Cheesefare Sunday - Orthodox Christian
Transfiguration Sunday - Christian
12
Triodion - Orthodox Christian
Clean Monday - Lent begins - Orthodox Christian
13
Shrove Tuesday - Christian
14
St. Valentine's Day - Christian
Maha Shivaratri ** - Hindu
Ash Wednesday - Lent begins- Christian
15
Nirvana Day ** - Buddhist - Jain
16
Chinese New Year - Confucian, Daoist, Buddhist
18
Orthodox Sunday - Orthodox Christian
26-March 1
Intercalary Days - Baha'i
Definitions
MARCH 2018
1
Purim * - Jewish
St. David of Wales - Christian
2 - 20
Nineteen Day Fast * - Baha'i
3
Holi ** - Hindu
6
Meatfare Sunday - Orthodox Christian
17
St. Patrick's Day - Christian
18
New Year ** - Hindu
18-26
Ramayana ** - Hindu
19
St. Joseph's Day - Christian
21 Equinox
Norooz (New Year) - Persian/Zoroastrian
Naw-Rúz (New Year) * - Baha'i
Ostara - Mabon * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
25
Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary - Orthodox Christian
Palm Sunday - Christian
26
Ramanavami ** - Hindu
28
Khordad Sal (Birth of Prophet Zaranthushtra) ** - Zoroastrian
29
Maundy Thursday - Christian
30
Good Friday - Christian
31-April 7
Pesach * - Jewish
31
Lazarus Saturday - Orthodox Christian
Hanuman Jayanti ** - Hindu
Lord's Evening Meal - Jehovah's Witness Christian
Magha Puja Day ** - Buddhist
Definitions
April 2018
1
Easter - Christian
Palm Sunday - Orthodox Christian
3
Mahavir Jayanti ** - Jain
6
Holy Friday - Orthodox Christian
8
Pascha - Easter- Orthodox Christian
12
Yom HaShoah * - Jewish
13
Lailat al Miraj * - Islam
14
Baisakhi (Vaisakhi) - Sikh
19
Yom Ha'Atzmaut * - Jewish
21
First Day of Ridvan * - Baha'i
23
St. George's Day - Christian
29
Ninth Day of Ridvan - Baha'i
Visakha Puja - Buddha Day ** - Buddhist
30
St. James the Great Day - Orthodox Christian
30-May 2
Theravadin New Year - Buddhist
Definitions
MAY 2018
1
Beltane - Samhain *- Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
Lailat al bara'ah * - Islam
2
Last day of Ridvan * - Baha'i
3
Saints Philip & James - Christian
National Day of Prayer USA - Interfaith
Lag B'Omer * Jewish
10
Ascension of Jesus - Christian
16-June 15
Ramadan * **- Islam
17
Ascension of Jesus - Orthodox Christian
20-21
Shavuot * - Jewish
20
Pentecost - Christian
23
Declaration of the Bab * - Baha'i
27
Pentecost - Orthodox Christian
Trinity Sunday - Christian
29
Ascension of Baha'u'llah * - Baha'i
31
Corpus Christi- Catholic Christian
Definitions
JUNE 2018
2
All Saints - Orthodox Christian
8
Sacred Heart of Jesus - Catholic Christian
9
St. Columba of Iona - Celtic Christian
11
Laylat al Kadr * - Islam
15-17
Eid al Fitr - Ramadan ends * - Islam
15
Saint Vladimir Day - Christian
16
Guru Arjan martyrdom - Sikh
19
New Church Day - Swedenborgian Christian
20
Waqf al Arafa - Hajj Day * - Islam
21 Solstice
First Nations Day - Canadian Native People
Litha - Yule * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
29
Feast Day of Saints Peter and Paul - Christian
Definitions
JULY 2018
9
Martyrdom of the Bab * - Baha'i
11
St Benedict Day - Catholic Christian
13-15
Obon (Ulambana) ** - Buddhist - Shinto
15
St. Vladimir the Great Day - Orthodox Christian
22
Tish'a B'av * - Jewish
24
Pioneer Day- Mormon Christian
25
St. James the Great Day - Christian
27
Asalha Puja Day ** - Buddhist
Definitions
AUGUST 2018
1
Lammas - Christian
Fast in Honor of Holy Mother of Jesus - Orthodox Christian
2
Lughnassad - Imbolc * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern Hemispheres
6
Transfiguration of the Lord - Orthodox Christian
15
Assumption of Blessed Virgin Mary - Catholic Christian
Dormition of the Theotokos - Orthodox Christian
22-25
Eid al Adha * - Islam
29
Beheading of St. John the Baptist - Christian
Raksha Bandhan ** - Hindu
Definitions
SEPTEMBER 2018
1
Religious year begins - Orthodox Christian
3
Krishna Janmashtami ** - Hindu
8
Nativity of Virgin Mary - Christian
10-11
Rosh Hashannah * - Jewish
12
Hijra - New Year * - Islam
13
Ganesh Chaturthi ** - Hindu
14
Elevation of the Life Giving Cross (Holy Cross) - Christian
Paryushana Parva ** - Jain
19
Yom Kippur * - Jewish
21
Ashura * - Islam
22 Equinox
Mabon - Ostara* - Wicca Northern and Southern hemispheres
24-31
Sukkot * - Jewish
27
Meskal - Ethiopian Orthodox Christian
29
Michael and All Angels - Christian
Definitions
OCTOBER 2018
1
Shemini Atzeret * - Jewish
2
Simchat Torah * - Jewish
4
St Francis Day - Catholic Christian
Blessing of the Animals - Christian
8
Thanksgiving - Canada - Interfaith
9-16
Navaratri ** - Hindu
18
St. Luke, Apostle & Evangelist - Christian
19
Dasara ** - Hindu
20
Birth of the Báb * - Baha'i
Installation of Scriptures as Guru Granth - Sikh
28
Reformation Day ** - Protestant Christian
Milvian Bridge Day - Christian
31
All Hallows Eve - Christian
Reformation Day - Protestant Christian
Definitions
NOVEMBER 2018
1
All Saints Day - Christian
Samhain - Beltane * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
2
All Souls Day - Catholic Christian
7
Diwali - Sikh - Jain - Hindu
8
Jain New Year ** - Jain
Vikram New Year ** - Hindu
12
Birth of Baha'u'llah * - Baha'i
15
Nativity Fast begins - ends Dec. 24 - Orthodox Christian
21
Mawlid an Nabi * - Islam
22
Thanksgiving USA - Interfaith
23
Guru Nanak Dev Sahib birthday - Sikh
25
Christ the King - Christian
26
Day of the Covenant * - Baha'i
28
Ascension of 'Abdu'l-Baha * - Baha'i
30
St. Andrew's Day - Christian
Definitions
DECEMBER 2018
2-24
Advent - Christian
3-10
Hanukkah * - Jewish
6
Saint Nicholas Day - Christian
8
Bodhi Day (Rohatsu) - Buddhist
Immaculate Conception of Mary - Catholic Christian
12
Feast day - Our Lady of Guadalupe - Catholic Christian
16-25
Posadas Navidenas - Hispanic Christian
21
Yule - Christian
21 Solstice
Yule - Litha * - Wicca/Pagan Northern and Southern hemispheres
Saint Thomas the Apostle - Christian
Yule - Christian
24
Christmas Eve - Christian
25
Christmas * - Christian
Feast of the Nativity ** - Orthodox Christian
26
Zarathosht Diso (Death of Prophet Zarathushtra)** - Zoroastrian
St Stephen's Day - Christian
28
Holy Innocents - Christian
30
Holy Family - Catholic Christian
31
Watch Night - Christian
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
Good morning, Bret.
Good morning, ImamTony.
This space for rent.
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Morning, muchachos. Had to drive the van again today, so late again. I'll try to improve my performance.
This space for rent.
Hi Raz
Howdy, Sam!
This space for rent.
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
We're buried in smoke out here. Looks like downtown Beijing, and smells like a dump. Damned Canadian wildfires.
This space for rent.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
nice work week too though.
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
We're buried in smoke out here. Looks like downtown Beijing, and smells like a dump. Damned Canadian wildfires.
This space for rent.
California is burning.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
What the heck is that Dean list? Every religious commemoration date on any calendar? Sheesh.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
What the heck is that Dean list? Every religious commemoration date on any calendar? Sheesh.
just trying to figure out when Tony does work.
afternoon Mark.
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
We're buried in smoke out here. Looks like downtown Beijing, and smells like a dump. Damned Canadian wildfires.
This space for rent.
California is burning.
In fact, we had a pretty cool looking red sunset on Sunday night. Turns out the smoke from the CA wildfires was to blame.
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
We're buried in smoke out here. Looks like downtown Beijing, and smells like a dump. Damned Canadian wildfires.
This space for rent.
California is burning.
Yeah, but I'm in support of burning Commiefornia.
The problem we have with wildfires is directly attributable to a century and more of bad policy of the kind for which California is notorious. Mother Nature doesn't submit to human arrogance.
This space for rent.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
What the heck is that Dean list? Every religious commemoration date on any calendar? Sheesh.
just trying to figure out when Tony does work.
afternoon Mark.
Standard US days off except for the added Muslim holidays. And no Jewish holidays observed (Shocking, I know)
The official holidays for 2018 at United Nations Headquarters have been designated as follows:
1 January New Year’s Day
30 March Good Friday
28 May Memorial Day
15 June Eid al-Fitr
4 July Independence Day
21 August Eid al-Adha
3 September Labour Day
22 November Thanksgiving Day
25 December Christmas Day
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Morning/afternoon raz, flip, Dave, Sam, and StickyTheaterFloorTony. Gonna be another triple digit temp day here, just like the rest of the week. Oof..
We're buried in smoke out here. Looks like downtown Beijing, and smells like a dump. Damned Canadian wildfires.
This space for rent.
California is burning.
Yeah, but I'm in support of burning Commiefornia.
The problem we have with wildfires is directly attributable to a century and more of bad policy of the kind for which California is notorious. Mother Nature doesn't submit to human arrogance.
This space for rent.
I totally agree with you.
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That's quote the list, Dean. Almost as bad as having a bunch of National Day of This and That every damn day.
What the heck is that Dean list? Every religious commemoration date on any calendar? Sheesh.
just trying to figure out when Tony does work.
afternoon Mark.
Standard US days off except for the added Muslim holidays. And no Jewish holidays observed (Shocking, I know)
The official holidays for 2018 at United Nations Headquarters have been designated as follows:
1 January New Year’s Day
30 March Good Friday
28 May Memorial Day
15 June Eid al-Fitr
4 July Independence Day
21 August Eid al-Adha
3 September Labour Day
22 November Thanksgiving Day
25 December Christmas Day
really? I had 13 when I worked for NY not counting floating holidays. and you don't want to know about my personal and vacation time. I will say that my retirement date was December 24th, got paid for 200 hours of vacation and didn't go back to work after the 1st week in October.
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It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
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On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, "Mommy, what does bastard mean?" She answers, "Um, it means boy." Then he asks, "Daddy, what does bitch mean?" He says, "Uh, it means girl." Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, "Sh*t." The son asks, "What does that mean?" The dad says, "It means shaving cream." Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, "F*ck." The son asks her what that word means and she says, "It means carving." That evening, the family's guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, "Welcome bitches and bastards! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing sh*t on his face and my mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey."
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um, no." The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
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A man is smoking a cigar and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigar box? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
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From the "we already knew that" department:
https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2018/08/16/where-are-all-these-new-texans-coming-from.html (https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2018/08/16/where-are-all-these-new-texans-coming-from.html)
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From the "we already knew that" department:
https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2018/08/16/where-are-all-these-new-texans-coming-from.html (https://www.bizjournals.com/austin/news/2018/08/16/where-are-all-these-new-texans-coming-from.html)
thank God it's a big state.
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California kids can kiss their soda good-bye as kooky law aims to ban yet another thing liberals don't like
In the latest episode of “Banished!” by the People’s Republic of California, Governor Jerry Brown is likely to sign a bill that prohibits restaurants from offering anything other than milk or water with their kids’ meals, under the pretense of preventing obesity. Effectively they’re telling parents they’re not capable of being trusted with their children’s health. It’s Big Brother Knows Best vs. mom and dad.
They want to control what little Johnny and Susie drink with their kids’ meal. If restaurants don’t play along they could be fined up to $500. So now California isn’t just the nanny state, it’s also the bully state.
Parents are apparently still permitted to order a separate drink but the restaurant can’t market the drink on the kids’ meal.
Having water with that burger and fries isn’t going to solve our health problems. Although, they might as well ban juice given there are virtually no straws left for the little ones to drink out of their juice boxes with; since most major cities in the state have banned plastic straws. Too bad it’s not as simple as that. They’re drinking the sugar free California Kool Aid if they think that banning kids from drinking soda or juice with their burger and fries will stop obesity and kill cancer.
The answer to everything liberals don’t like is to ban it, under the guise of doing something noble. In this case it’s your little ones’ health that’s on the line. Apparently you, mom and dad, are unfit to make healthy decisions for your kids. You need the nanny state.
Some parents who oppose the bill disagree, thank you very much.
“I think the government shouldn't determine what's available when I, as a mother, know what's best for my child,” said Inez Deocio.
“As a parent, you should be able to decide for yourself whether your kid's going to have milk or water or soda. The state shouldn't be telling you that,” said Scott Gregory.
Yes, you can decide what is best for your child and no, the state should not be deciding that. California should have bigger fish to fry than worrying about what your child drinks for lunch — like the state’s economy and securing our borders.
While it may sound well intentioned and innocent enough on the surface to limit drink options for the sake of children’s health, every time you limit the rights of parents you expand the rights the government. This is the problem with the trending socialism that’s gaining popularity with liberals.
Big Government can’t even run the DMV effectively and we’re supposed to willingly allow them to make decisions in the best interest of our kids?
If we can’t be trusted to be our kids’ parents, then what’s our purpose? Banning straws, dictating the content of your kids’ meals; sensing a pattern? These precedents are intentional.
They are not well meaning initiatives meant to protect. They are calculated attempts to control.
Inch by inch, with every “well intentioned” liberal bill, California is moving closer to Orwell’s Big Brother and the precedent is set for government to rule your life. We could simply yield to what is marketed to us as what’s best for us, although the good people of Venezuela would beg to differ, and have a legitimate warning for us.
It just so happens the not only can the socialist paradise of Venezuela no longer dictate what children can have with their Happy Meals, the government may soon be unable to provide basic clean drinking water for its people. How’s that for utopia?
Big Brother is watching. He knows what your kids are drinking. What next?
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sheesh. banter is deader than I am after a weekend threesome.
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sheesh. banter is deader than I am after a weekend threesome.
But a nice effort just the same (TWSS).
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sheesh. banter is deader than I am after a weekend threesome.
But a nice effort just the same (TWSS).
👍
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Dean's fault lull.
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Dean's fault lull.
But we're gonna get 'er to the next page.
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