You can't make this shit up. We received the following text related to my son's upcoming soccer game:
Good Afternoon,
I am writing on behalf of the Teaneck B13CB team. I was wondering if we could move the game to your field. An endangered bird, the killdeer, laid eggs on the Votee sportsplex field and we are not able to use it for competitive games. Please let me know if your town has field space.