“It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it.”
Well, then.
Oconee County Sheriff Scott Berry made the ominous announcement on Facebook last week, urging people to stock up on supplies and cherish what little time they have left on Earth.
“Pregnant women should smoke and drink liquor during the eclipse,” he wrote. “This will prevent radioactive waves from making your ankles swell and being grouchy most of the time. Meanwhile, your other children will be on the school bus wondering why it got dark so early. An afternoon snack of potted meat will encourage them to ignore the end of the world as we know it.”
