...and a few more:
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
- Andy Borowitz
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
- Melanie White
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
- Dave Barry
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
- Bridger Winegar