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In 1968, the Republican national convention in Miami Beach nominated Richard Nixon for president on the first ballot.

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In 1973, Vice President Spiro T. Agnew branded as "damned lies" reports he had taken kickbacks from government contracts in Maryland, and vowed not to resign — which he ended up doing.

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In 1978, the U.S. launched Pioneer Venus 2, which carried scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus.

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In 1994, Israel and Jordan opened the first road link between the two once-warring countries.

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In 2007, space shuttle Endeavour roared into orbit with teacher-astronaut Barbara Morgan on board.

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Ten years ago: Alan Keyes, the Republican two-time presidential hopeful, threw his hat into Illinois' U.S. Senate race (he ended up losing in a landslide to Democrat Barack Obama). Actress Fay Wray, the damsel held atop the Empire State Building by the giant ape in "King Kong," died in New York City at age 96.

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Five years ago: Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as the U.S. Supreme Court's first Hispanic and third female justice. A small plane collided with a sightseeing helicopter over the Hudson River in New York City, killing nine people, including five Italian tourists. Typhoon Morakot slammed into Taiwan, leaving more than 670 either dead or missing (the typhoon also killed 22 people in the Philippines and eight in China).

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One year ago: The U.S. sharply escalated its drone war in Yemen, with military officials in the Arab country reporting three strikes that left a dozen dead. Actress Karen Black, 74, who was featured in such counterculture favorites as "Easy Rider," Five Easy Pieces" and "Nashville," died in Los Angeles. Opera singer Regina Resnik, 90, died in New York.

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Today's Birthdays: Actor Richard Anderson is 88. Actress Nita Talbot is 84. Basketball Hall of Fame coach Jerry Tarkanian is 84. Singer Mel Tillis is 82. Actor Dustin Hoffman is 77. Actress Connie Stevens is 76. Country singer Phil Balsley (The Statler Brothers) is 75. Actor Larry Wilcox is 67. Actor Keith Carradine is 65. Rhythm-and-blues singer Airrion Love (The Stylistics) is 65. Country singer Jamie O'Hara is 64. Movie director Martin Brest is 63. Radio-TV personality Robin Quivers is 62. Percussionist Anton Fig (TV: "Late Show With David Letterman") is 61. Actor Donny Most is 61. Rock musician Dennis Drew (10,000 Maniacs) is 57. TV personality Deborah Norville is 56. Actor-singer Harry Crosby is 56. Rock musician The Edge (U2) is 53. Rock musician Rikki Rockett (Poison) is 53. Rapper Kool Moe Dee is 52. Rock musician Ralph Rieckermann is 52. Middle distance runner Suzy Favor Hamilton is 46. Rock singer Scott Stapp is 41. Country singer Mark Wills is 41. Actor Kohl Sudduth is 40. Rock musician Tom Linton (Jimmy Eat World) is 39. Singer JC Chasez ('N Sync) is 38. Actress Tawny Cypress is 38. Rhythm-and-blues singer Drew Lachey (lah-SHAY') (98 Degrees) is 38. Rhythm-and-blues singer Marsha Ambrosius is 37. Actress Lindsay Sloane is 37. Actress Countess Vaughn is 36. Actor Michael Urie is 34. Tennis player Roger Federer is 33. Actress Meagan Good is 33. Britain's Princess Beatrice of York is 26. Actor Ken Baumann is 25. Pop singer Shawn Mendes is 16.

[LSUFAN]

Thought for Today: "It is the anonymous 'they,' the enigmatic 'they' who are in charge. Who is 'they'? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even 'they' themselves." — Joseph Heller, American author (1923-1999).

[LSUFAN]

You Know You're in Trouble When ..
-------------------------

Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.

Your suggestion box starts ticking.

Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

They pay your wages out of petty cash.

You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

You tell the barber what you think about his prices before you get your haircut.

Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

[LSUFAN]

 7 H. Upmann 1844 Reserve Churchill
          5/23.50
 6 The Griffin's Robusto
         10/37.50
 5 My Father Le Bijou 1922 Petite Robusto
          5/25.00
 4 Diesel Unholy Cocktail Torpedo
         10/29.99
 3 La Aurora Preferidos Ecuador
          5/25.00
 2 Oliva Master Blends III Robusto
         10/39.99
 1 Diamond Crown Julius Caeser
          3/37.25

[LSUFAN]

 8 Perdomo Lot 23 Robusto
         10/33.50
 7 H. Upmann 1844 Reserve Churchill
          5/23.50
 6 The Griffin's Robusto
         10/37.50
 5 My Father Le Bijou 1922 Petite Robusto
          5/25.00
 4 Diesel Unholy Cocktail Torpedo
         10/29.99
 3 La Aurora Preferidos Ecuador
          5/25.00
 2 Oliva Master Blends III Robusto
         10/39.99
 1 Diamond Crown Julius Caeser
          3/37.25

[LSUFAN]

Where is everyone?

[Travellin Dave]

Morning Chip.  You here by your lonesome again?