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Author Topic: 6/25/2014  (Read 56568 times)

LSUFAN

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2014, 02:54:24 AM »

Good morning Short stack.
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2014, 03:33:36 AM »

Morning updates from Chip and shout out for ShortStack's one response of the day, so we are good to go!
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2014, 03:45:39 AM »

Good Morning all, Happy Humpday!
It would be nice to look under her 4 leaf clover and get lucky.
Now you must have some clover in that back 40 of yours.....maybe you just need to look a little harder....lol
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2014, 03:49:34 AM »

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #34 on: June 25, 2014, 03:54:48 AM »

A dick has a sad life.  His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
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LSUFAN

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #35 on: June 25, 2014, 03:57:27 AM »

Good Morning all, Happy Humpday!
It would be nice to look under her 4 leaf clover and get lucky.
Now you must have some clover in that back 40 of yours.....maybe you just need to look a little harder....lol
Maybe the sis in law will come by Thursday and let me look at her clover.  ;-)
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #36 on: June 25, 2014, 03:57:56 AM »

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"  "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.  One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."  The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.  Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"  "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
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LSUFAN

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #37 on: June 25, 2014, 03:58:10 AM »

A dick has a sad life.  His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Rough life indeed!
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LSUFAN

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #38 on: June 25, 2014, 03:58:56 AM »

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"  "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.  One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."  The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.  Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"  "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Ha! Dave's on a roll!
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #39 on: June 25, 2014, 03:58:59 AM »

Good Morning all, Happy Humpday!
It would be nice to look under her 4 leaf clover and get lucky.
Now you must have some clover in that back 40 of yours.....maybe you just need to look a little harder....lol
Maybe the sis in law will come by Thursday and let me look at her clover.  ;-)
That's the spirit!....who knows, maybe even find a pot o' gold!
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #40 on: June 25, 2014, 03:59:19 AM »

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.  He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
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LSUFAN

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #41 on: June 25, 2014, 03:59:46 AM »

Don't stop Dave, please keep posting since it's time for me to walk into the door at work now
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #42 on: June 25, 2014, 04:01:06 AM »

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"  "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #43 on: June 25, 2014, 04:06:58 AM »

Here's a good breakfast joke for the morning:

Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, "I've got a huge crack."
The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."
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Travellin Dave

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Re: 6/25/2014
« Reply #44 on: June 25, 2014, 04:07:10 AM »

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"  "What's that?" asks her mother.  "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter.  "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.  "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
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