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[CigarBanter]

I'm expecting big things from you on this St. Patty's Day so don't let me down!  After all, it's Tuesday too.  In between insults we'll occasionally discuss cigars.  Join in and perhaps learn something along the way.  Be warned, post on this site and you will catch hell from members and trolls alike.  Therefore, don't proceed if you have thin skin.  If you can accept all that, light a cigar, pour a beverage and welcome aboard!

[jswaykos]

I don't need a 'holiday' to make me want to drink. See you clowns in about 12 hours.

[Travellin Dave]

I don't need a 'holiday' to make me want to drink. See you clowns in about 12 hours.

Break out the Irish whiskey!

[LSUFAN]

Goo morning guys.

[LSUFAN]

On this day in history ..
0432 - St Patrick, a bishop, is carried off to Ireland as a slave
0455 - Roman senator Petronius Maximus becomes Emperor
1190 - Crusades complete massacre of Jews of York England
1521 - Ferdinand Magellan discovers the Philippines
1521 - Magelhaes lands on Homohon
1526 - French king Fran‡ois I freed from Spain
1537 - French troops invade Flanders
1580 - Prince Willem of Orange welcomed in Amsterdam
1658 - Pro-Charles II plot in England discovered
1672 - England declares war on Netherlands
1722 - Willem KH Friso appointed mayor of Drente
1753 - 1st official St Patrick's Day
1755 - Transylvania Land Co buys Kentucky for $50,000 from a Cherokee chief
1756 - St Patrick's Day 1st celebrated in NYC at Crown & Thistle Tavern
1757 - Prince Mas Sa‹d of Mataram surrenders to Mangkubumi in Java
1762 - 1st St Patrick's Day parade in NYC
1766 - Britain repeals Stamp Act
1776 - British forces evacuate Boston to Nova Scotia during Revolutionary War
1800 - English warship Queen Charlotte catches fire; 700 die
1804 - Johann von Schiller's "Wilhelm Tell," premieres
1824 - England & Netherlands sign a trade agreement
1833 - Phoenix Society forms (NY)
1836 - Texas abolishes slavery
1842 - Indians land in Ohio, a 12ý-mile area in Upper Sandusky
1845 - Bristol man, Henry Jones, patents self-raising flour
1845 - Rubber band patented by Stephen Perry of London
1847 - "Macbeth" opera premieres in Florence
1854 - 1st park land purchased by a US city, Worcester, Mass
1860 - Japanese embassy arrives aboard Candinmarruh [sic]
1861 - Italy declares independence; Kingdom of Italy proclaimed
1863 - Battle of Kelly's Ford, VA (211 casualities)
1868 - Postage stamp canceling machine patent issued
1870 - Mass legislature authorizes incorporation of Wellesley Female Seminary
1871 - National Association of Professional Base-Ball players organized
1876 - 1st record high jump over 6' (Marshall Jones Brooks)
1876 - Gen Crook destroy Cheyennes & Oglala-Sioux indian camps
1877 - Bill Midwinter completes Test Crickets' 1st 5-wkt haul, 5-78 v Eng
1884 - John Joseph Montgomery makes 1st glider flight, Otay, Calif
1886 - Carrollton Massacre, (Mississippi) 20 blacks killed
1891 - British Steamer "Utopia" sinks off Gibraltar killing 574
1894 - US & China sign treaty preventing Chinese laborers from entering US
1897 - Bob Fitzsimmons KOs James J Corbett in 14 for heavyweight boxing title
1898 - 1st practical submarine 1st submerges, NYC (for 1 hour 40 minutes)
1899 - Windsor luxury hotel in NYC catches fire, 92 die

[LSUFAN]

1900 - Stanley Cup: Montreal Shamrocks sweep Halifax Crescents in 2
1901 - Free thinking-Democratic Union forms in Netherlands
1902 - Stanley Cup: Montreal AAA beat Winnipeg Victorias, 2 games to 1
1905 - Eleanor Roosevelt marries FDR in NY
1906 - Pres Theodore Roosevelt uses term "muckrake"
1906 - Stanley Cup: Montreal Wanderers beat Ottawa Silver 7, although both winning a game, Montreal outscores Ottawa 12-10
1908 - Quickest world heavyweight title fight (Burns KOs Roche in 88 seconds)
1908 - Tommy Burns KOs Jem Roche in 1 for heavyweight boxing title
1910 - DHC soccer team forms in Delft Neth
1912 - Camp Fire Girls organization announced by Mrs Luther Halsey Gulick
1917 - 1st exclusively women's bowling tournament begins in St Louis
1917 - Tsar Nicolas II of Russia abdicates the throne [NS]
1918 - US Ladies Figure Skating championship won by Rosemary Beresford
1918 - US Mens Figure Skating championship won by Nathaniel Niles
1919 - Dutch steel workers strike for 8 hr day & minimum wages
1921 - Dr Marie Stopes opens Britain's 1st birth control clinic (London)
1921 - Lenin proclaims New Economic Politics
1921 - Sailors revolt in Kronstadt (thousands die)
1924 - Eugene O'Neill's "Welded," premieres in NYC
1924 - Netherlands & USSR begin talks over USSR recognition
1924 - Sweden & USSR exchange diplomats
1926 - Dutch Calvinists oust Rev J G Geelkerken over Genesis 3
1926 - Richard Rodgers & L Hart's musical "Girl Friend," premieres in NYC
1926 - Spain & Brazil prevent Germany joining League of Nations
1927 - US govt doesn't sign league of Nations disarmament treaty
1929 - General Motors acquires German auto manufacturer Adam Opel
1929 - Spanish dictator Primo de Rivera closes university of Madrid
1931 - Stalin throws Krupskaya Lenin out of Central Committee
1932 - German police raid Hitler's nazi-headquarter
1934 - Dollfuss, Mussolini & G”mb”s sign Donau Pact (protocols of Rome)
1935 - KSO-AM in Des Moines Iowa call sign is given to KWCR
1941 - National Gallery of Art, Wash DC opens
1942 - Belzec Concentration Camp opens-30,000 Lublin Polish Jews transported
1942 - Gen Doug MacArthur arrives in Australia to become supreme commander
1943 - Aldemarin (Ned) & Fort Cedar Lake (US) torpedoed & sinks
1943 - F Hugh Herbert's "Kiss & Tell," premieres in NYC
1944 - Actor Charlton Heston weds Lydia Clarke
1945 - Allied ships bomb North-Sumatra
1950 - Belgian govt of Eyskens resigns
1950 - Element 98 (Californium) announced

[LSUFAN]

1951 - Govt of Drees takes power
1951 - Test Cricket debut of Brian Statham, England v NZ Christchurch
1953 - Bill Veeck says he will sell his 80% of St Louis Browns for $2,475M
1953 - US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1953 - WBAY TV channel 2 in Green Bay, WI (CBS) begins broadcasting
1953 - WWLP TV channel 22 in Springfield, MA (NBC) begins broadcasting
1955 - Maurice "Rocket" Richard suspended, sparks 7 hour riot in Montr‚al
1956 - 8th Emmy Awards: Ed Sullivan Show, Phil Silvers Show & Lucy Ball
1957 - Dutch ban on Sunday driving lifted
1957 - Ramon Magsaysay, president of Philipines dies in a plane crash
1958 - Navy launches Vanguard 1 into orbit (2nd US), measures Earth shape
1959 - Australia & USSR restore diplomatic relations
1959 - Dalai Lama flees Tibet for India
1960 - Eisenhower forms anti-Castro-exile army under the CIA
1960 - WSLA (now WAKA) TV channel 8 in Selma, AL (CBS) begins broadcasting
1961 - NY DA arrests professional gamblers who implicate Seton Hall players
1961 - South Africa leaves British Commonwealth
1963 - Bob Cousy plays his last NBA game
1963 - Elizabeth Ann Seton of NY beatified (canonized in 1975)
1963 - Eruptions of Mount Agung Bali, kills 1,900 Balinese
1965 - Beatles announce their film is named "8 Arms to Hold on to You" (Help)
1966 - South Africa govt bans Defense & Aid Fund
1966 - US sub locates missing H-bomb in Mediterranean
1968 - 2-tiered gold price negotiated in Wash DC by US & 6 European nations
1968 - Kathie Whitworth wins LPGA St Petersburg Orange Blossom Golf Open
1969 - Golda Meir becomes Israel's 4th PM
1969 - Kathy Whitworth wins LPGA Orange Blossom Golf Open
1970 - Peter O'Malley becomes CEO of LA Dodgers
1970 - US casts their 1st UN Security Council veto (Support England)
1972 - Ringo releases "Back off Bugaloo" in UK
1973 - Queen Elizabeth II opens new London Bridge
1973 - St Patrick Day marchers carry 14 coffins commemorating Bloody Sunday
1974 - Jane Blalock wins LPGA Bing Crosby Golf Classic International
1975 - Valeri Muratov skates world record 1000m (1:16.92)
1976 - Malikov skates world record 1000m (1:15.76)
1976 - Rubin "Hurricane" Carter is retried
1976 - US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1977 - Australia wins cricket Centenary Test by 45 runs, same result as 1877
1978 - Amoco Cadiz tanker spills 1.6 mil gallons of oil off French coast
1978 - Ligeti's opera "Le Grand Macabre," premieres in Stockholm
1978 - Reds don green uniforms for St Patricks Day
1979 - Ice Dance Championship at Vienna won by N Linichuk & G Karponosov USSR
1979 - Ice Pairs Championship at Vienna won by Tai Babilonia & R Gardner USA
1979 - Men's Figure Skating Champ in Vienna won by Vladimir Kovalev (USSR)
1979 - Worlds Ladies Figure Skating Champ in Vienna won by Linda Fratianne
1981 - FC Lisse, Dutch soccer team forms
1982 - 4 Dutch TV crew members shot dead in El Salvador
1983 - 70th hat trick in Islander history-Mike Bossy
1983 - 9th People's Choice Awards
1985 - Jane Blalock wins LPGA Women's Kemper Golf Open
1985 - Matti Nykanen of Finland set a world ski jump record of 623'
1986 - Haemers gang robs gold transport in Belgi

[LSUFAN]

1987 - IBM releases PC-DOS version 3.3
1987 - Sunil Gavaskar ends his Test career with an innings of 96 v Pak
1988 - "Les Miserables," opens at Det Norske Teatret, Oslo
1988 - Highest scoring NCAA basketball game; Loyola-Marymont 119, Wyoming 115
1988 - Iran says Iraq uses poison gas
1989 - "Chu Chem" opens at Ritz Theater NYC for 44 performances
1989 - Dorothy Cudahy is 1st female grand marshal of St Patrick Day Parade
1990 - PBA National Championship Won by Jim Pencak
1991 - 9 of 15 Soviet reps officially approve new union treaty
1991 - Irish Lesbians & Gays march in St Patrick Day parade
1991 - John Robin Baitz' "Substance of Fire," premieres in NYC
1991 - NJ raises turnpike tolls 70%
1991 - Penny Hammel wins Desert Inn LPGA Golf International
1992 - "Death & the Maiden" opens at Brooks Atkinson NYC for 159 perfs
1992 - 18th People's Choice Awards: Garth Brooks & Reba McEntire
1992 - 28 killed in truck bombing of Israeli embassy in Buenos Aires, Arg
1992 - De Klerk wins a white only referendum
1992 - Islamic Jihad truck bombs Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires killing 29
1992 - Russian manned space craft TM-14, launches into orbit
1993 - 86 killed by bomb attack in Calcutta
1994 - "Little More Magic" opens at Belasco Theater NYC for 30 performances
1994 - Iran transport aircraft crashes in Azerbaijan (32 killed)
1994 - It is announced there is no smoking in Cleve Indians new ballpark
1995 - British œ hits 2.4545 to Dutch guilder (record)
1995 - Sinn-Fein leader Gerry Adams visits White House
1995 - USt approves 1st chicken pox vaccine, Varivax by Merck & Co
1996 - "Bus Stop" closes at Circle in Sq Theater NYC after 29 performances
1996 - "Getting Away With Murder" opens at Broadhurst NYC for 17 perfs
1996 - Aravinda De Silva gets 107* & 3-42 in cricket World Cup victory
1996 - Liselotte Neumann wins LPGA Ping/Welch's Golf Championship
1996 - Mike Tyson beat Frank Bruno in 3rd round to gain Heavyweight title
1996 - Montreal Canadian's 1st game in their new arena
1996 - Sri Lanka beat Australia by 7 wickets to win the World Cup
1997 - CNN begins spanish broadcasts
1998 - USA Women's Hockey Team beats Canada for 1st Olympic Gold medal

[LSUFAN]

Famous birthdays for this day ..

1473 - James IV, king of Scotland (1488-1513)
1578 - Francesco Albana, Ital painter (Mary's Ascension)
1628 - Daniel van Papenbroeck, [Papebrochius], Flemish historian
1664 - Georg Osterreich, composer
1675 - Petrus Laurentius Wockenfuss, composer
1685 - Jean-Marc Nattier, French portrait painter
1746 - Jan David Holland, composer
1777 - Roger Brooke Taney, Calvert Md, 5th Chief Justice (Dred Scott dec)
1780 - Thomas Chalmers, 1st moderator (Free Church of Scotland 1843-47)
1781 - Dominique J de Eerens, governor-general of Neth Indies
1787 - George Simon Ohm, physicist (discovered Ohm's Law)
1789 - Edmund Kean, London England, tragic actor (Shylock)
1804 - James Bridger, scout/fur trader/mountain man par excellance
1820 - Patrick Edward Connor, Bvt Major General (Union volunteers)
1825 - Rodolphe Bresdin, French cartoonist/lithographer (Le Bon Samaritain)
1826 - Oskar Peschel, German journalist/geography (V”lkerkunder)
1828 - Patrick Ronayne Cleburne, Major General (Confederate Army)
1832 - Moncure Daniel Conway, US, abolitionist (Life of Thomas Paine)
1832 - Walter Quintin Gresham, Bvt Major General (Union volunteers)
1834 - Gottlieb Daimler, Germany, engineer/inventor/designed 1st motorcycle
1839 - Josef Rheinberger, Vaduz Liechtenstein, opera composer (Munich Conser)
1846 - Kate Greenaway, England, artist/book illustrator (Under the Window)
1848 - Horace Wadham Nicholl, composer
1872 - Billy Quaife, cricketer (England batsman 1899-1902)
1873 - Chard Somerset, 1st woman Cabinet minister (1929-31)
1873 - Margaret Bondfield, Brit Labour leader/1st woman cabinet member
1874 - Kincsem, horse that never lost a race
1874 - Stephen Samuel Wise, US, pres of Zionist Org of America
1876 - Frederic Ayers, composer
1877 - Albert P Hahn, Dutch political cartoonist (People/Nutcracker)
1880 - Guillermo Uribe Holguin, composer
1881 - Kristian Elster, Norwegian author (Less bror Harris)
1887 - Ben Sajet, Dutch physician/politician
1888 - Frank Buck, actor (Africa Screams, Tiger Queen, Tiger Fangs)
1890 - Harold Morris, composer
1892 - Sayed Darwish, composer
1894 - Paul Green, US, novelist/playwright (In Abraham's Bosom)
1895 - Shemp Howard, Bkln, comedian (3 Stooges, Bank Dick) [or 1891]
1899 - Gloria Swanson, Chicago IL, actress (Sadie Thompson, Killer Bees) [OS]

[LSUFAN]

1900 - Alfred Newman, New Haven, composer (Love is a Many Splendored Thing)
1901 - Eisaku Sato, premier of Japan (Nobel 1974)
1902 - Bobby Jones Jr, Atlanta Georgia, PGA golfer (Grand Slam 1930)
1906 - Brigitte Helm [Gisele Eve von Kuenheim], Berlin, actr (Gloria, Gold)
1906 - Michael O'Shea, Hartford Ct, actor (Denny-It's a Great Life)
1906 - Tamara Geva, dancer
1907 - Jan M J van Houtte, premier Belgium (1952-54)
1908 - Boris N Poveloi, [Kampov], Russian journalist/writer [OS=Mar 4]
1908 - Radie Britain, composer
1909 - Patrick Reilly, British diplomat
1910 - Bayard Rustin, civil rights leader
1911 - Raffaele d' Alessandro, composer
1914 - Sammy Baugh, Texas, NFL hall of famer QB (Wash Redskins)
1915 - Hans Namuth, German/US photographer (Todos Santos, Guatemala)
1915 - William Roycroft, Austria, equestrian 3 day (Olympic-bronze-1976)
1917 - Arthur Basil Cotle, medievalist
1917 - Brian Boydell, composer
1918 - D Arendo, [Arend Honhoff], Dutch pianist/composer (Eleonora)
1918 - Mercedes McCambridge, Joliet Ill, actress (All the King's Men)
1918 - Wilhelmus M J Russell, Dutch attorney/Member of 1st chamber (KVP/CDA)
1919 - Hank Sauer, baseball player (NL MVP 1952)
1919 - Nat "King" Cole, Montgomery Ala, singer (Unforgettable, Mona Lisa)
1920 - John La Montaine, Oak Park Ill, composer (Pulitzer 1959)
1921 - Mick Harvey, cricketer (in Newcastle Brother of Neil Test umpire)
1922 - Megan Bull, British head mistress (Holloway Jail)
1923 - Margaret Bondfield, 1st woman chairman (Trades Union Congress)
1924 - Stephen Dodgson, composer
1925 - G M Hughes, British zoologist
1925 - Jerome Lejeune, physiologist
1926 - Siegfried Lenz, German writer (Ein Kriegsende)
1927 - Kenneth S Goldstein, folklorist/enthomusicologist
1927 - Maurice Ingvar Karkoff, composer
1927 - Nancy Sheehan, writer
1927 - Patrick Allen, Malawi, actor (Roman Holiday, Dial "M" for Murder)
1927 - Sulkhan Ivanovich Nasidze, composer
1928 - Edino Krieger, composer
1930 - James Benson Irwin, Pittsburgh Penn, Col USAF/astronaut (Apollo 15)
1931 - Eunice Gayson, London England, actress (Dr No, From Russia With Love)
1932 - Dick Curless, singer/songwriter
1934 - Erhard Grosskopf, composer
1934 - Q T Macon, blues vocal/guitar
1935 - Adam Wade, Pitts Pa, singer (Tony Orlando & Dawn)
1935 - H Wollschl„ger, writer
1936 - Ladislaw Kupkovic, composer

[LSUFAN]

1936 - Thomas K Mattingly II, Chic, Capt USN/astro (Apollo 16, STS-4, 51C)
1937 - Adam Wade, actor (Kiss Me Goodbye, Crazy Joe)
1937 - Galina Samsova, ballerina
1938 - Rudolf Nureyev, Russia, ballet dancer/choreographer (Kirov)
1939 - Shahid Mahmoud, cricketer (opener scored 16 & 9 in only Pak Test)
1940 - Vito Picone, rocker (Elegants)
1941 - Clarence Collins, US singer (Imperials-Tears on my pillow)
1941 - Edward Harper, composer
1942 - John Wayne Gacy, Chicago Ill, serial killer (32 boys)
1942 - Sidney K Barthelmy, US politician(?)
1943 - Don Mitchell, Houston Tx, actor (Mark-Ironside)
1944 - Cito Gaston, MLB manager (Toronto Blue Jays)
1944 - Danny DeVito, Neptune NJ, actor (Louie-Taxi, Twins)
1944 - John Sebastian, NYC, singer (Loving Spoonful, Welcome Back Kotter)
1944 - Pat McCauley, N Ireland, rock drummer (Them)
1944 - Patti Boyd, Somerset England, (Mrs George Harrison/Mrs Eric Clapton)
1945 - Paco Gonzalez, race horse trainer
1946 - Harold Brown, Long Beach Ca, rock drummer (War-Summer, Galaxy)
1946 - Michael Peter Finnissey, composer
1947 - Ian Gomm, rock guitarist
1948 - Fran Byrne, rocker
1948 - Pat Lloyd, rocker
1948 - Robert Braunwart, who added thousands of dates to this database
1948 - William [Ford] Gibson, Canada, sci-fi author (Neuromancer, Count Zero)
1949 - Patrick Duffy, Townsend Mont, actor (Bobby-Dallas, Man from Atlantis)
1951 - Kurt Russell, Springfeild Mass, actor (Thing, Overboard, Mean Seasons)
1951 - Scott Gorham, Irish hard rock guitarist (Thin Lizzy-21 Guns)
1954 - Lesley-Anne Down, London, actress (A Little Night Music, Moonraker)
1954 - Rena Jones, rock vocalist
1954 - Wally Stocker, London, rock vocalist/guitarist (Babys-Missing You)
1955 - Bill Beyers, actor (Wally McCandless-Capitol)
1955 - Cynthia McKinney, (Rep-D-Georgia)
1955 - Gary Sinise, actor (Apollo 13, Forrest Gump)
1955 - Paul Overstreet, Van Cleave Miss, country singer (Daddy's Come Around)
1956 - Will Rigby, rock percussionist (Amy Rigby Diary of a Mad Housewife)
1957 - Robin Cousins, England, figure skater (Olympic-gold-1980)
1959 - Brian Douglas Jones, Auckland NZ, tornado class yachter (Olympics-96)
1959 - Danny Ainge, NBA coach (Phoenix Suns)
1959 - Mike Lindup, British rock keyboardist/singer (Level 42-Hot Water)
1959 - Terry Hall (Specials, Fun Boy 3)
1960 - Lee Ann Michelle, Surrey England, playmate (Feb, 1979)
1960 - Vicki Lewis, Cincinnati, actress (Beth-Newsradio)
1961 - Casey Siemaszko, Chicago IL, actor (Biloxi Blues, 3 O'Clock High)
1962 - Clare Grogan, rocker (Altered Images-Happy Birthday)

[LSUFAN]

1962 - Janet Patricia Gardner, Juneau Alaska, rocker (Vixen-Rev It Up)
1962 - Patrick Thomas Burke, Hollywood FL, PGA golfer (1992 BellSouth-6th)
1962 - Roxy Dora Petrucci, Rochester Minn, rock drummer (Vixen-Rev It Up)
1963 - Rebeca Arthur, actress (Mary Anne-Perf Strangers, Opposites Attract)
1963 - Roger Harper, cricketer (Guyana & WI off-spinner Extraordinary field)
1964 - Alex Shoumidoub, NHL goaltender (Belarus, Oly-98)
1964 - Don Griffin, NFL cornerback (Cleve Browns)
1964 - Rob Lowe, Charlottesville Va, actor (St Elmo's Fire, Hotel NH, Class)
1964 - Ron Warren Jr, jockey (Bay Meadows)
1965 - Andrew Hudson, South African cricket player
1965 - Caitlin Bilodeaux, Boston Mass, US fencer (Olympic-92)
1965 - John Smiley, Phoenixville PA, pitcher (Cin Reds)
1966 - Andrew Hudson, cricketer (South Africa, 163 on debut vs WI 1992)
1967 - Chris Luongo, Detroit, NHL defenseman (NY Islanders)
1967 - Kim Cathrein, Salinas CA, LPGA golfer (1994 Rochester Intl-24th)
1967 - Melissa Allen, Port OR, WPVA volleyballer (Reebok National-13th-1994)
1967 - Van Conner, rocker (Screaming Trees)
1968 - Judy Mosley McAfee, WNBA forward (Sacramento Monarchs)
1968 - Tyrone Hill, NBA forward (Cleveland Cavaliers)
1969 - Andrew McMarlin, Vienna VA, rower (Olympics-1996)
1969 - Domenic "Filane" Figliomeni, Terrace Bay Ontario, boxer (Olympics-96)
1969 - Gilbert Schaller, Bruck Austria, tennis star
1970 - Shannan Mitchem, Decatur GA, female infielder (Colo Silver Bullets)
1971 - Katrina Colleton, WNBA guard/forward (LA Sparks)
1971 - Tommy Thigpen, WLAF linebacker (Barcelona Dragons)
1972 - Mia Hamm, Selma Alabama, soccer forward (Olympics-96)
1973 - Amelia Weatherly, actress (Stephanie Brewster-Loving/The City)
1973 - Jerome Woods, safety (KC Chiefs)
1974 - Eric Lane, running back (NY Giants)
1974 - John Hall, kicker (NY Jets)
1976 - Stephen Gately, Dublin Ireland, Irish singer (Boyzone)
1977 - Hadeel Abol-Naga, Miss Universe-Egypt (1996)
1977 - Iveta Jankularova, Miss Universe-Slovak Republic (1996)

[LSUFAN]

Whats This?
-------------------------

The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsy," one child answers.

"And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy," replies another youngster."

And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers.
There was no answer, only total silence. "Come now, children," she coaxes, "I'll give you a little hint".

What does your Mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot?
"I know! I know!!" exclaims one little girl.
"It's a horny bastard!"

[LSUFAN]

More Laws
-------------------------

The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

"The Law of Common Sense"
Never accept a drink from a urologist.

"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

"The Law of Self Sacrifice"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

"Weiler's Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.

"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

"Iron Law of Distribution"
Them that has, gets.

"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.

"Law of Drunkenness"
You can't fall off the floor.

"Heller's Law"
The first myth of management is that it exists.

"Osborne's Law"
Variables won't; constants aren't.

"Main's Law"
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

"Weinberg's Second Law"
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

[LSUFAN]

Time to hit the road for work, enjoy your day guys.