One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
Andy Rooney
Many merry Christmas’, friendships, great accumulation of cheerful recollections, affection on earth, and Heaven at last for all of us.
Charles Dickens
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
Harlan Miller
Dear Santa… before I explain, how much do you know already?
“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
– Dave Barry
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
– Kin Hubbard
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”
– Henny Youngman
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”
– Arlo Guthrie
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
– Jay Leno
“This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.”
– Anthony Jeselnik
“The outdoor Christmas lights, green and red and gold and blue and twinkling, remind me that most people are that way all year round — kind, generous, friendly and with an occasional moment of ecstasy. But Christmas is the only time they dare reveal themselves.”
– Harlan Miller
“You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.” – Bart Simpson