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[FloridaDean]

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Trump.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

[Travellin Dave]

Cleaning ladies (not the naked kind) about had a fit when arriving this morning with the dust and whatever from the paining and floor removal/replacement.  Would have been much worse if I hadn't gone over most things a couple of times already.  Coming back this afternoon with reinforcements.

[Travellin Dave]

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Trump.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

+1

[FloridaDean]

The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020.
This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".

[FloridaDean]

Cleaning ladies (not the naked kind) about had a fit when arriving this morning with the dust and whatever from the paining and floor removal/replacement.  Would have been much worse if I hadn't gone over most things a couple of times already.  Coming back this afternoon with reinforcements.

my cleaning lady, the naked kind, doesn't complain, but an OLDER reinforcement would be nice.

[FloridaDean]

Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".

[FloridaDean]

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone.
He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."

[FloridaDean]

A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."
The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"
Redneck: "Why, is it required?"

[FloridaDean]

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.
"This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again."
Instantly, he was back in his government office.

[FloridaDean]

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.
His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.

Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one.
Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.
At 8:55 Mary walks into the office.
"I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off."
"Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."

[bluecollar]

Cleaning ladies (not the naked kind) about had a fit when arriving this morning with the dust and whatever from the paining and floor removal/replacement.  Would have been much worse if I hadn't gone over most things a couple of times already.  Coming back this afternoon with reinforcements.

my cleaning lady, the naked kind, doesn't complain, but an OLDER reinforcement would be nice.

Save the money and clean yourself

[bluecollar]

New world Cameroon and coffee run.

[FloridaDean]

Cleaning ladies (not the naked kind) about had a fit when arriving this morning with the dust and whatever from the paining and floor removal/replacement.  Would have been much worse if I hadn't gone over most things a couple of times already.  Coming back this afternoon with reinforcements.

my cleaning lady, the naked kind, doesn't complain, but an OLDER reinforcement would be nice.

Save the money and clean yourself

money? hell, I don't pay anything.

[A Friend of Charlie]

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Trump.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

That's a good one.

[bluecollar]

Cleaning ladies (not the naked kind) about had a fit when arriving this morning with the dust and whatever from the paining and floor removal/replacement.  Would have been much worse if I hadn't gone over most things a couple of times already.  Coming back this afternoon with reinforcements.

my cleaning lady, the naked kind, doesn't complain, but an OLDER reinforcement would be nice.

Save the money and clean yourself

money? hell, I don't pay anything.

You have a naked cleaning lady and you give her nothing in exchange? I don't believe you